There was never a cloudy day in Pam’s life
Sometimes, providence is truly divine, what with the cloudless, resplendent afternoon provided Monday to celebrate the life of Pamela Lancaster Pettinari, around whom, as the timeless Earth, Wind & Fire line goes, never was a cloudy day.
And they made merry most of the day at Great Neck Country Club, whether hitting the little white ball or inhaling the fare at Langley's, all the folks at the Fourth Annual Pamela Lancaster Pettinari Memorial Golf Tournament.
A primer on Pam, if a primer is even possible, for a woman who did in 50 years with us what most would need three times as many:
Pam, a graduate of the Williams School, Class of 77, was Williams' first African-American teacher. All proceeds from Monday's merriment went to a scholarship fund at Williams in her honor.
She played field hockey, basketball and volleyball at Williams, later graduating from Skidmore.
She was a member of Big Brothers Big Sisters.
She was the poster girl (literally) for Give The Gift of Sight, an organization that provides free glasses and eye care to people around the world.
She was on a float in the Tournament of Roses Parade.
She won $10,000 once, making a hole-in-one.
She was staying in a hotel next to the World Trade Center on Sept. 11, 2001, barely making it out alive.
She saved her sister Gilda's life by donating a kidney.
And she succumbed to ovarian cancer after eight years of the good, noble fight on June 10, 2010.
"A true humanitarian," her sister Margaret said Monday.
Indeed. Pam Pettinari lived humbly for many causes, tackling them like a corkscrew, consistently spiraling her way through them. She is the best of the Lancaster family, among the biggest, proudest and
est and most dignified in the history of this region.
"Her husband (David Pettinari) created this. He's the one who wanted to leave something in honor of his wife," Gilda said. "He passed away a year after Pam did. He missed her so much. My brother in-law, Gerald Lee (husband of sister Tricia) went to Williams with the idea of the golf tournament. Williams opened their arms to us. I'm so elated about this day. I can't thank everybody enough."
The Lancasters begin with matriarch Louise, 92, and Spencer, 89. Pam's siblings are Gilda, Spencer Jr., Robert, Margaret and Tricia. Lots of Lancaster blood pulsating throughout the region.
"An amazing human being. Always the advocate on behalf of those not even less fortunate, but across the board for any injustice," said Margaret, whose son, Landon Peabody, is The Day's reigning boys' basketball Player of the Year from Waterford High. "If she wasn't my sister she would be my friend. You know how they say you can't choose your family but you can choose your friends? She would be both."
There aren't many better stories that illustrate all the bon mots than donating a kidney to her sister.
"I'm on my 19th year now," Gilda said. "That's who my sister was. I was 42 and Pam was in her 30s. My other sister, Tricia, all my brothers, went and got tested and I didn't even ask. Pamela and Tricia were both matches.
Pam said she wouldn't be having children so she wanted to be the one to donate. I didn't know that until like 10 years ago. When I found out, I started crying."
"The operation took three and a half hours. After, my sister had us laughing so hard and here I have 50 million staples coming out of me, we actually had to call security. They said 'what's the matter?' We said 'get her out of here because she's making us laugh so hard.' An experience I will never forget."
Then there's her experience at the World Trade Center.
"She was having dinner the night before in one of the twin towers," Margaret said. "She worked in corporate for Lenscrafters. They were supposed to have a meeting on the second floor the next morning at 10. She went to Battery Park for a run and saw the first plane hit. She was staying in the hotel right next to it. She went running back into the hotel. They told her, 'get what you can and get out of here.' She was on one of the ferries that pulled everybody out of there. She was covered in soot."
An amazing life. An amazing woman. The best of New London. The best of an iconic family.
"They always say the good die young," Gilda said. "But she did everything you could do in a lifetime."
Maybe that's why they came en masse to celebrate her all over again Monday. The cloudless Monday. Never was a cloudy day around Pam. This is the opinion of Day sports columnist Mike DiMauro.