How does Boston have time for all that cheating?

A more cynical fellow might wonder, given the long hours to which football coaches subject themselves, how Bill Belichick has time to coach the Red Sox, too.

But then, that's a more cynical fellow.

Me? I'm merely left to wonder what compels the athletically inclined in Boston to cheat with such alarming regularity.

Gloryoski. I mean, Spygate, Deflategate and now Applegate.

The two-minute drill version: The Yankees accused the Red Sox of using electronics to steal signs during a series at Fenway Park last month, sending video evidence to Major League Baseball, as first reported by the New York Times.

The Yankees believe members of the Red Sox training staff, using an Apple Watch, relayed information from video personnel to players. The video, according to the report, showed trainer Jon Jochim, who received the information on his Apple Watch while he sat in the dugout, passing it to Brock Holt and Dustin Pedroia, who in at least one instance passed the information to outfielder Chris Young.

The Red Sox have admitted their wrongdoing to Major League Baseball.

Commissioner Rob Manfred said Tuesday at a news conference at Fenway Park, “The Red Sox have been 100 percent fully cooperative with us in this investigation.”

Say this much for the Sox: At least they came clean. The Pats, no doubt, would have sent Jochim into witness protection, held a news conference alleging that Apple Watches share various properties of the Ideal Gas Law, called for Manfred's firing and

destroyed the cell phones of all parties involved.

And just so we're clear: Major League Baseball does not outlaw sign stealing. It does, however, prohibit using electronics to do so. Hence, the Boston Red Sox cheated. Which, apparently, makes them part of the fraternity in their hometown.

The cheating worked, too. The Sox, who went 8-11 against the Yankees in the season series this year, won two of three that weekend. They rallied from a late, 6-3 deficit Aug. 18, no doubt helped along by the ghosts of Julius and Ethel Rosenberg.

My question: Why? Why can't they steal signs the old fashioned way? Why did they feel the need to cheat? No, really. Can anybody answer that question?

I get the idea that loyalists of Boston sports will point to transgressions of other organizations as a means to deflect attention. Or summon that inspiring bromide, “if you ain't cheatin, you ain't tryin'.” Or perhaps dismiss this as much ado about nothing.

Free country. (For now, anyway). Again, I ask: Is the Boston sports intelligentsia so insecure that it must continually revert to espionage to win games? I mean, does Mookie Betts really need the assistance of an Apple Watch?

The Red Sox, of course, filed a counterclaim against the Yankees, alleging that the Pinstripers use YES Network cameras for the same purposes. I can't see how that's possible, given that most YES broadcasts focus more on old Paul O'Neill highlights than the actual game. Several published reports Wednesday said the Yankees are likely to be vindicated.

But by all means, if the Yankees are doing it, they should be punished, too.

Meantime, I must confess: Weren't sports more fun before the advent of technology? How did we go all those years thinking home runs are hit hard before “exit velocity” went ahead and proved it scientifically? Go figure. Home runs are hit hard.

Is there some other compound fraction out there that might prove, say, NBA players are tall?

It must be hard to be a Red Sox player right now. How do they have time to play baseball when they're so awash in technology, cheating, whining about umpires' strike zones and yelling at Dennis Eckersley?

The only thing they've done right recently is try to bunt on CC Sabathia, who doth protest too much. Yo, CC: If the Yankees had tried bunting the night The Blowhard Who Used To Throw Hard painted his socks with Heinz 57, then The Curse might still be alive.

Or maybe not. Maybe the Sox would have cheated their way to a title.

How fitting, too, that the Patriots begin their season Thursday night. Note to Tom Brady: Jon Jochim is on his way. This is the opinion of Day sports columnist Mike DiMauro