The Day

Dear Abby weighs in on bachelor party question

- By Abigail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of two years will be attending a bachelor party in Las Vegas. We've never had any issues of infidelity, yet I can't help but feel anxious about his upcoming trip. I know the scene that exists in Vegas — I'm in my mid-20s and I enjoyed my trips there when I was younger and single.

I'm worried about him and his friends going to strip clubs, topless pool parties, etc. I don't mind him enjoying a trip and going out with the boys, but I think attending an event with nudity is disrespect­ful to the other person when you're in a long-term, serious relationsh­ip. I don't want him to feel he has to tell his friends he can't go to those things. What are your thoughts on this?

— WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS ...

DEAR WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS: You and your boyfriend are both adults. Viewing topless entertainm­ent or attending a topless pool party is not infidelity. If he hasn't given you any reason to worry so far, give him the benefit of the doubt.

P.S. By the way, I have heard that some bacheloret­te parties can be equally wild. Do you plan to swear off them yourself?

DEAR ABBY: My wife hates Facebook. She has always hated it and never signed up. I have had an account since the site began and maintain many connection­s with friends, family members who live far away, old teachers — even my in-laws. I don't discuss it with my wife much because it makes her angry.

I'm not constantly on it, and it's not like I'm doing anything bad. But if she hears from a friend about a funny or insightful comment I made on Facebook, we end up getting into a huge argument because she insists I have to delete my account. The argument always ends with her saying, “You will delete it because I hate it!”

I don't want to delete my Facebook page, and I hate arguing with my wife. What should I do? — “LIKES” FACEBOOK IN RALEIGH, N.C.

DEAR “LIKES” FACEBOOK: Try to get to the bottom of why she finds your staying in touch with these people threatenin­g, because it appears you married someone who is very controllin­g. She is your spouse, not your jailer. If you want to participat­e in social media, continue to do so.

Although you didn't mention it, I can't help but wonder if her jealousy and possessive­ness have affected other areas of your life. If that's the case, talk about it with a licensed marriage and family therapist before it drives the two of you apart. If she won't go with you, go alone.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a doctor. I give free medical advice to my cousin and her mother several times a month, and have for quite some time now. I do it free of charge because we are family and there's a close bond between us.

My cousin works in marketing, so I asked her if she could help me design my presentati­on card. She replied that she would give me three designs to choose from, and it would cost roughly $100. I feel it's wrong for her to charge me for her service since I've never charged her.

— FREE OF CHARGE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR FREE OF CHARGE: It's possible your cousin was asking to be reimbursed for the cost of the MATERIALS involved in creating the cards for you. Before you allow yourself to get into a snit, perhaps you should clarify exactly what you would be paying for.

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