Metal till the end
Metal — and all its dark-as-the-tomb sub-categories — is perhaps the one type of music for whom its practitioners, to maintain integrity, must consciously defy maturity and the ravages of time. Let’s face it: playing and writing metal in the satanic majesty of one’s youthful rebellion is almost noble, or at least understandable.
But does 68-year-old Gene Simmons still actually NOT cringe when he has to fix his stupid “rock dude” wig for everyday life, or, worse, put on his Kiss makeup and those inane lizard boots?
Does 69-year-old human Kewpie doll Ozzy Osbourne still fist-pump when he thinks back on writing lines like the couplet from the song “Black Sabbath” that reads, “Is it the end, my friend? / Satan’s coming around the bend”?
In this spirit, Ronnie James Dio is probably glad he’s in Paradise — or is it Hell? (spoken in echoing, spooky voice) — where he doesn’t have to croon “Rainbow in the Dark” on his 90th birthday.
BUT ... if any of these AARP metallians still feel the original wrath, anger and sinister tendencies, it’s probably Slayer. And that, coupled with the fact that they’re visiting Mohegan Sun Friday on their Farewell Tour, is enough justification for you to get out to the Arena to mosh with ’em. Yes, original guitarist Jeff Hanneman’s dead, and founding drummer Dave Lombardo left the band, but bassist/vocalist Tom Araya and lead guitarist Kerry King will proudly machine-gun through “Angel of Death,” “Hell Awaits,” “Seasons in the Abyss” and “Dead Skin Mask” one last time.
Oh, and this is indeed a party. No less than Lamb of God, Testament, Behemoth and Anthrax are also on a bill that starts at the decidedly non-Satanic hour of 5 p.m. Slayer, 5 p.m. Friday, Mohegan Sun Arena; $44.50; 1-800-745-3000. PHOTO BY BRENT N. CLARKE/INVISION/AP Life of the Party
There’s one problem with this comedy: it’s not funny. That’s surprising, considering that it stars Melissa McCarthy, who is one of the most hilarious people around. She plays a kindly mom who, dumped by her husband, returns to college at the same school where her daughter is a student. McCarthy and husband Ben Falcone (they co-wrote the script, and he directed) should take more time to develop their collaborations; “Life of the Party” feels as though it was rushed into production. The only hints of humor here come from the easy rapport and seemingly improvised moments between McCarthy and Maya Rudolph as her best friend. If you want to see McCarthy in mom mode but way funnier, YouTube her playing Michael Che’s stepmom on the May 12 episode of “Saturday Night Live.” Songs in the Key of Funk
Big Sam’s Funky Nation
Not to belabor the obvious, but New Orleans has some of the best music and best restaurants in the world. How’s this, then, for a recipe: make a roux out of Sly & the Family Stone and Parliament/Funkadelic. Meanwhile, finely chop and then sauté tasty amounts of Crescent City second-line tradition and smooth Carl Carlton grooves. Dump that into the roux and allow to simmer, frequently adding dollopsto-taste of Dirty South rap along with a Stevie Wonder bay leaf. Plate and serve all night or until your ears and feet stop working. From a city where the past is always the future, Big Sam’s Funky Nation is a treasure, and “Songs in the Key of Funk” is eternal. Yogurt at North Stonington’s Terra Firma Farm
If the sound of farm-fresh food catches your fancy, consider giving Terra Firma Farm in North Stonington a try. They sell a variety of meat and dairy products, as well as eggs, but their yogurt is something worth going out of your way for. Located off Route 2 in North Stonington, the farm is easy to drive by if you aren’t watching for it. Once you find its driveway, however, pull all the way up to the main barn where, in an attached side room, is their little shop. There you can find yogurt flavors such as strawberry, blueberry, peach, vanilla and plain. The fruit flavors are packaged in 8 oz. containers and sell for $3, while vanilla and plain are packaged in larger 16 oz. containers and go for $4.50. The price is a little steep for a dairy product that you could find for much less in the grocery store, but you’ll be getting locally made, Grade A whole milk yogurt, without any preservatives or fillers. Oh, and it tastes amazing. Terra Firma Farm is located at 564 Norwich-Westerly Rd., North Stonington.