Cancer patient discusses too much detail in public YOUR STARS
DEAR ABBY: A dear friend has been battling cervical cancer. Her condition has left her dependent on a colostomy bag. She's not shy about discussing it on Facebook and in public, where she speaks loudly. I have tried to be understanding and supportive, but there are limits.
My problem is, she's hell-bent on making sure I see this colostomy bag by frequently checking to see if it's full, even after returning from the bathroom where I'm certain she checked it. More recently, we were at a restaurant and she exposed her bag in full view of others while they were eating. (The bag was full!)
Not only was it disgusting, it's also unhygienic should the bag become disconnected or rupture. Am I insensitive for thinking this is inappropriate and that she should excuse herself to go to the bathroom?
— NAUSEATED IN MICHIGAN
DEAR NAUSEATED: No, I don't think you are insensitive. While a colostomy bag is nothing to be ashamed of, because it involves human waste, decorum dictates that it be kept away from the dining table. Have a frank talk with your friend, tell her her behavior is inappropriate, and ask her not to do it in front of you.
DEAR ABBY: I grew up in the generation where if you were gay and you came “out of the closet,” as it was called, you were not accepted in the community. A lot has changed since then. However, when it hits close to home, it's difficult for me to deal with.
My 19-year-old daughter told me three years ago that she's gay. At first I thought she was going through a phase and she was trying to find herself. Now she's dating girls her age, and I'm having a difficult time accepting it. Can you help me?
— STRUGGLING MOTHER IN ILLINOIS
DEAR STRUGGLING: Be glad we're not living in the bad old days because the ones we're living in are healthier for everyone. Start by congratulating yourself for having raised a daughter who is honest about her feelings and determined to live her life authentically. While some things may be different than you fantasized when she was little, it does not mean she won't be happy, successful and possibly a parent, if she wishes. Support her as she navigates through her journey in life. If you do, you — and she — will be fine. ARIES (March 21-April 19): A practical approach to work and dealing with your peers will help you avoid being viewed as uncooperative. A friendly suggestion is a far better way to bring about positive change. Personal improvement is in your best interest. 3 stars TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Aim to stabilize, not disrupt your life. Learn, share and create situations that will contribute to a stellar reputation and support from your friends, family and peers. Learn from experience and study a change thoroughly before you follow through. 5 stars GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Alter your living arrangements or put more energy into professional gain. Take pride in your appearance; make fitness and health a priority. Don't listen to people selling products that offer the impossible. Be discreet when dealing with emotional situations. 2 stars CANCER (June 21-July 22): Treat important relationships with warmth and compassion. Listen attentively, offer suggestions and make decisions based on what you would do if faced with a similar problem. Positive input will be appreciated and build a stronger bond. 4 stars LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Unexpected changes should not send you down a path that can make matters worse. Alter only what needs to be dealt with, not what others are prompting you to change. Listen to what's being said, but avoid hasty decisions. 3 stars VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Don't procrastinate when you should be moving forward with confidence and speed. What you accomplish today will bring about positive change to the way you do things and the people you associate with. A day trip will lead to an interesting prospect. 3 stars LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Reflect on what's happened and what you can learn from experience. Understanding what others need or want will help you deal with those looking for more than what you are able to offer. Offer hands-on help, not cash. 3 stars SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Let your mind wander; you'll come up with a better way to deal with a challenge you face. Choose to use your intelligence over brawn to resolve issues. An associate from your past should be kept at a distance. 4 stars SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Focus on self-improvement, not trying to change others. If someone tries to manipulate you, walk away. Personal growth should be a priority. Don't take a risk with your money or your health. An emotional matter will lead to uncertainty. 2 stars CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Be sure before you initiate change. What you do will affect the people around you and should be thought through carefully before you proceed. A discussion you have with a partner or colleague will lead to positive and profitable gains. 5 stars AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You'll crave change, but before you begin, make sure you don't take on more than you can handle. Concentrate on getting along with others if you want to enlist the help needed to make your plans come true. 3 stars PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): A moneymaking idea will intrigue you. Consider the pros and cons and discuss the possibilities before you get involved in a joint venture. Any uncertainty should be a sign that you are better off moving forward alone. Romance is highlighted. 3 stars