At the border:
‘I never thought I would see the day when child abuse was perpetrated by the federal government of my own country.’
“I never thought I would see the day when child abuse was perpetrated by the federal government of my own country,’’ says state Rep. Diana Urban, who represents Stonington and North Stonington.
As House chair of the Committee on Children, it is my job to work closely with the Department of Children and Families to prevent child abuse and neglect. The stress and violence these child victims endure breaks my heart. But I never thought I would see the day when child abuse was perpetrated by the federal government of my own country.
The border policy of separating children from their parents was recently modified by a Presidential Order, however it still leaves over 2,000 children already separated from their parents in limbo. There is no plan to get these children back with their parents and as they have been scattered across our country the logistics are daunting. Add to that, many of the children are too young to even be able to communicate with officials and the enormity of the task becomes clear.
Let’s just visit the facts on the impact on the child of being held in incredibly unfamiliar situations stripped of any contact with their parents. Forcibly taking a child away from their parent produces what is called “toxic stress.” “Positive stress” is a part of healthy development. It can range from being introduced to a new caregiver to making that first book report in front of your class. It is a normal and actually essential part of healthy development.
There is also “tolerable stress” resulting from situations like the loss of a loved one. As long as this stress is buffered by loving adults who help the child to process it there can be recovery from what otherwise could damage the child both developmentally and physically. On the other hand, toxic stress is when a child experiences strong adversity such as physical or emotional abuse, chronic neglect, or exposure to violence without adequate parental or familial support. This stress is, indeed, toxic to the child.
The phenomena has been studied and recognized by a slew of national experts. Connecticut was chosen for a symposium on this subject featuring top researchers at Harvard University. It was while participating in that symposium that I learned when stress is categorized as toxic and there is no familial comfort available, the result can be actual damage to DNA. You read that right; this type of stress can damage systems including health and brain architecture with lifelong repercussions.
At the time I was aghast at the impacts not only on the child but on the system needed to support these victims of toxic stress. Now we are looking at potentially thousands of children experiencing this toxic stress at the hands of our government. What entity will deal with developmental delays, and later health problems including heart disease, diabetes, substance abuse and depression that the change in our national policy perpetrated on these defenseless children?
As I write this, none of us know of any reunification plans to bring parents and children back together. We are not even allowed to have the simple accountability of our public officials visiting the sites and the children to see exactly how any love and guidance is being given to children who are left to fend for themselves with no parent there to for comfort. When I hear of children age 5 being briefed on their legal rights I wonder if the whole world has gone crazy.
To say that parents escaping from brutal violence are responsible for the abuse that is raining down on their children is sheer lunacy. Any parent who truly cares about their child’s future will cross an ocean, a desert, a mountain, even the border of another country to keep their child safe. I would do that for my grandson with absolutely no hesitation. I feel confident that any loving parent feels the same way I do.
I am grateful that the administration woke up and appears to realize what they were doing to innocent children was unconscionable. Now clear and achievable plans must be promulgated to get these children back with their parents as soon as possible to mitigate the devastating effects of toxic stress.