The Day

Hurt turns to anger as video games consume boyfriend

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DEAR ABBY: I am tired of taking a backseat to my boyfriend's video game addiction. He comes home from work, sits on the couch and gets lost in his video games. It has gotten to the point where he barely speaks to me or even looks up from his game.

I know he chats with a lot of people, both male and female, on these games. I suspect he has inappropri­ate conversati­ons that he feels are harmless because he won't meet these people in person.

Constantly being ignored is hurting my feelings. He never responds to my texts anymore because he's so busy on his game. I'm starting end the romance before he damages your self-esteem. Being ignored has been known to do that. Trust me.

DEAR ABBY: We are having a struggle in our family, and I'm unsure how to handle it. Three years ago, our adult nephew, “Connor,” underwent hormone therapy, counseling and transgende­r surgery. She is now our niece “Cathy.” The transforma­tion was successful, and Cathy is happier than we've ever seen her. We loved Connor, and nothing has changed in our relationsh­ip with Cathy. She has visited us numerous times, and we have reciprocat­ed.

The problem is Cathy's sister, “Amy.” Amy has disowned Cathy. She says Connor “died to her” when he underwent the gender reassignme­nt.

Not only is it heartbreak­ing for the whole family, but I'm finding it increasing­ly difficult to maintain a relationsh­ip with Amy because of her rigid attitude. She boycotts family reunions and celebratio­ns if Cathy will be present, even though family members have traveled from across the country to attend.

Amy is now expecting a baby, and I'm not feeling very celebrator­y toward her. Please advise.

— VERY SAD AUNT IN WISCONSIN

DEAR AUNT: From what you have written, it appears that by distancing herself from Cathy, Amy is isolating herself from the family. I understand that you may not wish to attend her baby shower, but if you don't, it would be nice to send something for the child. Amy may come around one day, so keep the door open.

DEAR ABBY: I am a female and my male friend, “Sam,” is recently engaged to be married. I talk to him daily and invite him out to dinner sometimes.

Sam's fiancee, “Felicia,” has expressed to both of us that she's uncomforta­ble with our relationsh­ip. She asked us to set “boundaries,” but I feel Sam is my friend and friends shouldn't have boundaries. When I asked him out to dinner against her wishes, she became irate. Do you think I'm disrespect­ing their relationsh­ip? What should I do?

— FOREVER FRIEND IN CHICAGO

DEAR FRIEND: It is a mistake not to recognize that Sam's status has changed. If you value your friendship with him, you must start respecting the fact that he's now engaged and do as his fiancee has requested — set some boundaries. If you cannot do that, you can kiss your friendship with Sam goodbye.

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