WAR, TV issues spoil Dr. I’s mood

I dle Thoughts, while waiting to steal Little I's mini Butterfinger bars at Halloween, Eli to throw it more than seven yards downfield and for God to pass an amendment to the Ten Commandments outlawing sabermetrics:

• Dr. Idle, Dr. I to his close friends, is in a bad mood today. So don't expect rainbows and lollipops, OK?

We begin with Dr. I's abject failure figuring out NFL television rules and clarification from anybody about them.

Two weeks ago, Dr. I was watching Saints-Falcons in overtime on Fox. Before its conclusion, Fox cut to Curt Menefee in the studio who announces that per NFL rules, Fox had to get most of the country to the Cowboys-Seahawks kickoff at 4:25.

Last week, Dr. I was watching Colts-Texans in overtime on CBS. Except that this time, CBS stayed with the game to its conclusion, failing to air the kickoff of Giants-Saints. Channel 3, the local CBS affiliate, didn't get to the Giants game until 8:16 remained in the first half.

So we get to the Cowboys (non-local team) on time and the Giants (local team) late?

Is that inconsistent, or is it just Dr. I?

No answers forthcoming, either.

• Dr. I enjoys his mornings solving the world's problems with his pals (and pal-ettes) at Muddy Waters in New London.

It's also become a bit of a pastime to see how many people walk in, pick up The Day, read it and put it back without paying for it.

A more cynical guy than Dr. I might call that stealing.

• So Dr. I is watching Brewers-Cubs last Monday and the announcers are talking about the absurdly productive season from Christian Yelich (.326-36-110), the Milwaukee outfielder, only hitting .453 with two outs and runners in scoring position.

Yelich was a homer away from the triple crown.

Karl Ravech pipes in with this: "And yet you could make a case that (teammate) Lorenzo Cain (.308-1038) is the MVP because his WAR is higher, 7.4 to 6.9." There you have it. His WAR is higher! Of course. WAR, after all, is more reliable than a station wagon filled with nuns.

• Did Dr. I see correctly that two New London school officials are taking a business trip to China? That'll solve everything. • Wonder what would have happened if in, oh, 1998 Joe Torre decided to make Mariano is "opener."

• Just so we're clear on this: High school football rules do not include "the ball is uncatchable."

Yes, that rule applies to college and pro. But not under the auspices of the National High School Federation.

So stop complaining about it on the sidelines and the bleachers.

• Recently, a Coast Guard football player named Tom Jones made a nice play during the course of a game.

Dr. I, in constant need of attention, says to the press box of Tom Jones' nice play, "it's not unusual." Nobody laughed. (Don't make Dr. I explain it, either). Maybe we go with "She's a Lady" next time?

• You know life must be generally peaceful in the People's Republic of East Lyme when there's all but a sitin after two nice people plant peach trees in their front yard.

• Many thanks to old friend Peter Abraham, a Norwich Bulletin alum, who covers the Red Sox for the Boston Globe.

Pete sent me the link to purchase the T-shirt reading, "That's baseball, Suzyn," which is only John Sterling's favorite line on Yankee radio broadcasts.

• Dr. I heard a few dweebs talking about "hit probability" the other day.

Then it occurred to him that if he ever learns what it is, he hopes he's hit by a bus in the ensuing 10 minutes.

• Saw this on Twitter and had to share:

"Has anyone ever heard Phil Collins "In the Air Tonight" and NOT played that drum fill? Just crushed it in the grocery store myself."

Who hasn't, right? This is the opinion of Day sports columnist Mike DiMauro