Toilets need all ‘accessories’ possible

Idle Thoughts, while waiting for a savior for St. Bernard, Opening Day and for a dozen (half dozen?) eggs to cost less than a car payment:

• Dr. Idle, Dr. I to his close friends, used a time-honored strategy when considering the proposed new community center in New London: Give up all hope and you’ll feel much better.

It worked. Dr. I’s grandiose view of an actual haven for the kids of the city — and perhaps with enough basketball courts to become a moneymaking entity hosting AAU tournaments — turned out to be just that: grandiose. Folly. Charlie Brown chugging toward the football.

Dr. I obtained Amendment 1.0 from Downes Construction LLC, the firm managing the construction of the center. Our fearless leadership saw this list of all the things that won’t be included whenever this $40 million (up from $30 million) edifice is built — and voted for it anyway:

Carpentry, architectural woodwork, tile, acoustical ceilings, flooring, signage, toilet compartment and accessories, lockers, food service equipment and gymnasium equipment and seating. There’s more, but you get the idea.

Of particular interest here is “toilet compartment and accessories.” Perhaps Dr. I’s interpretation here is incorrect. But could that mean no doors on the stalls?

So if, for example, some poor patron has an attack of Taco Bell and must remain seated for the entire performance in the restroom, he must do so before an audience?

This just in: Given the delicate nature of what happens in and around toilets, we need all the accessories possible.

• Interesting factoid about men’s college basketball rosters this year, belonging to the Department of Redundancy Department:

Butler has Ali Ali.

Georgetown has Akok Akok.

Pittsburgh has Federiko Federiko.

Hmmm. This gets Dr. I thinking about former Georgetown center Ruben Boumtje-Boumtje, renowned cellist Yo-Yo Ma, former UConn soccer player Carlos Carlos, former U.N.