The grapes of wrath

“Tell me what you really think of men,” I said to Wendy, my club’s feminist, in the lounge.

“Men are like grapes,” Wendy said matter-of-factly. “It’s a woman’s job to keep them in the dark and stomp on them until they’re something fit to have dinner with.”

“So you and Cy are still having trouble on defense,” I sighed.

In a penny game, Wendy and Cy were East-West, trying to beat 2NT. The Cynic led a low heart: three, ten, jack. South led a spade to dummy’s jack and returned a spade to his nine. Cy took his ace, pondered and shifted to the jack of diamonds. Declarer claimed eight tricks: four spades, three diamonds and one heart.

“Some men might have the makings of a decent glass of wine,” Wendy told me, “but you can’t play decent bridge with them. Cy’s defense was hopeless. He need not rush to lead a diamond; if I have the ace, the contract will always fail. Cy must lead a club at Trick Four in case I have the ace of clubs and South has the ace of diamonds. Even if South has the A-Q of clubs, he has only seven tricks.”

Wendy was being a bit ungenerous. If South’s hand were Q 9 2, K J 9, 8 7 3, A Q 10 2, he could take Wendy’s jack of clubs with the queen and cash three spade tricks. Cy would have to discard three times and couldn’t hold the fort. If he threw all three diamonds, South could exit with a heart, end-playing Cy to lead a club from his king. If Cy threw a heart, South could afford to force out the ace of diamonds.

In an expert partnership, East might suggest club strength by playing low spades on South’s spade leads.

West dealer

N-S vulnerable