WORK-LIFE STRESS HITS MEN, TOO
We’ve been hearing a lot lately about high-profile men leaving demanding jobs in order to achieve better work-life balance.
In March, 52-year-old Google CFO Patrick Pichette announced his retirement from the company after a trip to Africa with his wife convinced him to leave the rat race to spend more time with family. PIMCO CEO Mohammed El-Erian took similar action last year, exiting his highpowered role for part-time work based on a note from his daughter, who had cited all the milestones in her life he’d missed because of his career.
Pichette and El-Erian have the kind of wealth that makes walking away from corporate America a viable option — a luxury most of us don’t enjoy. While I don’t think quitting is the best way to attain balance, by declaring their desire to better synthesize their work and home lives, El-Erian and Pichette are proving that the need and desire for work-life balance is universal.
Indeed, surveys are increasingly showing that working men value flexible schedules as much as — or possibly more than — their female counterparts. In the Working Mother Research Institute’s latest study on flexibility, nearly 60 percent of working dads said they would choose part-time work if they could still have a meaningful career. More men than women said they’ve changed jobs (67 percent vs. 57 percent) to better manage work and family, according to the 2015 EY Global Generations survey, released in May. Fifty-seven percent of men who participated in the survey said they would give up a promotion to retain work-life balance compared with 49 percent of women.
I’ve seen this tendency in my own recruitment efforts. One top candidate recently took himself out of the running for a higher-paying position because it involved a long commute and more time away from his young son. In his note withdrawing his application, he shared: “I decided that I did not want to leave before he wakes in the morning and then not get home until after he is asleep.”
These examples clearly demonstrate that men are willing to make sacrifices to achieve work-life integration, so why aren’t we hearing more of these stories? The majority of working women — 78 percent in a survey conducted last year by Citi and LinkedIn — said they had never heard a successful man talk about the importance of balancing work and family.
In Working Mother magazine, working dad Ken Gordon blames the silence on the fact that men don’t like asking for help. “We don’t like to admit we need support,” he wrote. “The grand old tradition of American self-reliance suggests we should be able to do things and then stoically live with the consequences.” So, is this the new “don’t ask, don’t tell?” Gordon acknowledges that men need to raise the issue and participate in the conversation about balance in order to help change attitudes and social norms in the workplace. In Australia, for example, a number of private employers (including IT giant Cisco Systems) are sponsoring the Equilibrium Man Challenge — a series of micro-documentaries that turn the spotlight on a group of men who are trying to change the way they work to achieve more “equilibrium.”
Closer to home, some male entrepreneurs are starting to see the importance of “modeling” work-life balance. At the Silicon Valley software firm Quip, the founders share the fact they’re parents with employees and leave at 5:30 p.m., so workers don’t feel pressure to stay later.
In my own company, we’re wrestling with how to better communicate the idea that we work with a wide range of candidates — from millennial men to female empty nesters — despite the Mom Corps name. Men seeking alternative work arrangements actually make up 25 percent of our placements locally.
The truth is, work-life integration ceased being a “women’s issue” a long time ago. The demands of career and home take a toll on everyone, regardless of gender. People in general want to work differently, and we need to find ways to better accommodate those desires.
My hope is that the actions of these high-profile executives will motivate more men to come forward, place a higher priority on balance, and initiate the dialogue to change the working culture.
So let’s keep the dialogue going and work toward change; blending/balancing/integrating (or however you label it) work and life is a reality and the new norm — and one that needs to be in the forefront in hiring, recruiting and working today — not something that is hidden, an afterthought or just an option for the well-funded elite. Lauren Sveen is owner and president of Mom Corps Denver, a national talent acquisition firm specializing in connecting high-growth firms with high-caliber talent. She is a sought-after speaker on employment trends, organizational strategy and work-life integration. Contact her at lsveen@momcorps.com.