How to talk about food, dieting and body image, and how to help
Although orthorexia is about food, it can be tied to body image, said Maddy Moon, who shares her experience with orthorexia at maddymoon.com and mindbodygreen.com. It was in her case; she said it’s still a challenge when people comment on her photos from her fitness- competition days, when she perhaps looked healthy to some but was struggling. They’ll say, “You look so fit! But for me, that’s an opportunity to educate them,” Moon said.
“People who are complementing people on their weight loss success, you have to be careful. What’s not healthy is when you say, ‘ You look better than you’ve ever looked.’ Because then you say, ‘ What did you think I looked like before?’ ”
Before you comment, remember that you probably don’t know why someone has lost weight, said Boulder psychotherapist Carmen Cool. It could be a health issue, from depression to flu to cancer.
Cool, who primarily works in the field of binge eating and chronic dieting, said “I wish we would stop feeling free to comment on each other’s bodies.”
She advocates for eliminating a few phrases that have to do with food and body image from our lexicon:
• “The term ‘ clean eating’ really bothers me, a lot, because obviously, what is the opposite of that? Because I’m not eating ‘ dirty’ if I’m eating something that’s processed,” she said.
• Good vs. bad: Evaluating one’s diet or exercise habits with phrases like “I was good today” isn’t helpful, Cool said. “Murder is bad. Cake is not.”
HOW TO HELP: If you’re worried about a friend or loved one, “don’t disregard your concern,” said Dr. Ovidio Bermudez of the Eating Recovery Center in Denver. “Because a lot of people talk themselves out of it— ‘ she’s OK; he’s all right.’ Express your concern. Don’t make a diagnosis. The right approach is, ‘ Look, I’ve noticed some changes.’ ”
Your friend or family member might get mad, Cool said. “I expect defensiveness. That’s OK.” Just “communicate what you’re noticing, from a place of love, and not from a place of blame or shame.”