McDonald’s crispy tenders are back, and they’re really good

When I flipped open the lunchbox-like container for McDonald’s Buttermilk Crispy Tenders, I didn’t know what to expect, but it wasn’t this: a drool response.

The craving hit me fast, before I could think about it, before I could remind myself to act all cool in the face of Mickey D’s latest attempt to fight back against the fastcasual tidal wave. I mean, who likes being a shill for a clown accused of getting America’s kids hooked on salt, fat and sugar?

I couldn’t have cared less about the kids as I gazed upon these tenders, all golden and slammable. The chicken strips looked like they were actually sliced from an animal. The coated breast meat came in different shapes and sizes, some long and comet-like, others wide like a ping-pong paddle. They didn’t have the unnatural uniformity of nuggets, the snack that, until recently, was a crime against chicken.

Some background: After a two-year hiatus, McDonald’s has reintroduced chicken strips to menus nationwide under the animal-free name of Buttermilk Crispy Tenders, which is an improvement, I guess, over the old moniker. Chicken Select Tenders, after all, sounded like another case of anthropomorphic cannibalism.

Apparently, McDonald’s has been searching for a tenders recipe that connects with customers as much as its Chicken McNuggets do. I’d say they found it with this new product, a variation on the buttermilk crispy chicken sandwich that the chain rolled out a couple years ago. Marinated in buttermilk and dredged in a spiced coating, the tenders are good and crunchy on the outside and moist and meaty on the inside. What more can you want from a fried strip of breast meat?

You can order the tenders in quantities ranging from four ($3.99) to 10 ($9.99) — the large serving apparently reserved for those who want to pack their organs in salt; it boasts nearly 3,400 milligrams of sodium. (By comparison, a 10-piece McNuggets will set you back $3.99; a Buttermilk Crispy Chicken Sandwich $4.89.)