Celebrating oysters like a dinosaur
The dinosaur world had a bit of a shakeup recently.
A University of Colorado Boulder professor discovered that big plant-eating dinosaurs named hadrosaurs occasionally cheated on their diets, dipping into crustaceans whose modern-day relatives include lobsters, crab, shrimp and crayfish.
What a coincidence, I thought, I love those foods, too. In fact, the more I learned about the 75 million-year-old hadrosaur’s surprising behavior, it hit me: I am this dinosaur. Or, this dinosaur is me. We are one in the same -- in so much that we both are/were pescatarians.
Admittedly, the hadrosaurs are believed to have switched to this seasonal diet for breeding and egg laying purposes. So perhaps not quite the same.
In celebration of discovering my true dinosaur self, I have been indulging in what would surely have been a mutually loved food: oysters.
But a “I found my true dinosaur self” party isn’t as fun when you’re by yourself. I want others to celebrate my inner hadrosaur, too. Which is why I’ve created a guide to Denver’s oyster happy hours (hey, I’m operating on a budget here) so we can all celebrate.
Unless you’re a high roller, you likely won’t be making the happy hour oysters your entire meal. Other apps or entrees are needed to create a full meal. So what do you want to eat with your oysters? Pizza? Tacos? More seafood? Well, here are some options for you to pick from.
And don’t forget to cheers the hadrosaur and me before you dive in.
Pizza
Where: Cart-Driver, 2500 Larimer St., #100
Happy hour: Daily from 2-6 p.m.
Hadrosaur fun fact: The dinosaur had a duckshaped bill with hundreds of teeth.
There’s something indescribably delicious about mixing wood-fired pizza and oysters. Grab two market oysters for $5 to delight in while you wait for your pizza, which cost $9-$18. Drink it up with a glass of Prosecco or a Messed Up Negroni (gin, Campari, vermouth and persecco) that are each $5 as well.
Another potential spot: Angelo’s Taverna at 620 E. Sixth Ave.
Southern
Where: Tupelo Honey, 1650 Wewatta St.
Happy hour: Daily from 4-7 p.m.
Hadrosaur fun fact: The dinosaur weighed up to 3 tons.
As a person, I love Tupelo Honey’s delicious food. As a person on a budget, I hate Tupelo Honey’s delicious food. But happy hour lets me pretend like I’m fancier than I really am. Three raw oysters are available for $5. Pair your oysters with other happy hour munchies, including pimento cheese nachos and southern pakora (fried okra and cauliflower in chickpea batter). Draft beer and signature cocktails are $2 off.
Seafood
Where: Jax Fish House and Oyster Bar Address: 1539 17th St. Happy hour: Daily 4-6 p.m.
Hadrosaur fun fact: The dinosaur grew up to 30 feet long.
You’re already eating fish food, might as well stay on brand. Jax is here to give you that consistency. Oysters are $1.50 each. Other snack options include hush puppies for $3, peel ‘n’ eat shrimp for $7 and fruit de mer with calamari, shrimp, octopus and mussels for $6. The ontap cocktail is $7. The more enthusiastic of us can have oyster shooters, which are an east coast oyster, vodka and bloody mary mix.
Another potential spot: Blue Island Oyster Bar and Seafood for buck-a-shuck on Monday’s at 2625 E. Second Ave.
Mexican
Where: Lola Mexican Fish House, 1700 Humboldt St.
Happy hour: All night Monday; Tuesday-Friday from 4-6 p.m.; Saturday and Sunday 2:30-5 p.m.
Hadrosaur fun fact: The dinosaur had specialized teeth for grinding plants (when it wasn’t noshing on crustaceans).
Margaritas and oysters sound like a dream night in the making. Raw oysters go for $2 while grilled oysters are $4. There are small tacos to pair with, such as the roasted poblano, that range from $2.50-$4. Or grab “The Deal,” which is two chicken tacos and a lager for $5. Or pair the oysters with some shrimp ceviche for $9.
Liquid meal (a.k.a. wine)
Where: Humboldt Farm Fish Wine, 1700 Humboldt St.
Happy hour: Daily from 3-6 p.m.
Hadrosaur fun fact: The dinosaurs are believed to have roamed in herds.
Wine is great. Oysters are great. Let’s keep it simple. The happy hour is shucker’s choice for $1.95 an oyster. Humboldt is a place that knows wine and knows how to pair it with food. If you aren’t sure what to get with your oysters, don’t be shy to ask your waiter. Mine was quick with a pinot grigio recommendation. Happy hour wines range from $4 to $6 a glass.