Datable, relatable “Tips” that you can use
Interactive comedy brings the audience along for the laughs
I’m a single 31yearold woman who is married to her job. It doesn’t exactly make dating easy.
So when I heard the new Denver Center for the Performing Arts show coming to town was “Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man,” I thought it might be fun to go and see if I would actually learn anything that I could translate to real life. (I tried this once before by going to “The Great Love Debate” and all I learned was I needed to tone down my success to make a man feel more masculine so, uh, pass.)
Maybe I would learn something that would keep me on a dating app for more than a week. Maybe I would learn something that would make me choose hitting the town over sleep (mmm, sleep).
The show is a small production inside the Garner Galleria Theater based on a book of the same title. The intimate theater is cabaretstyle, serving up drinks and snacks to your table, and we quickly noticed the four 40something women in front of us taking full advantage. Think
“Sex and the City,” but if it were set in Denver and they were drinking cheap wine instead of Cosmos.
One of the show’s three characters, the beefy Stefan played by Anthony Capuano, took the stage and one of giddy women sitting in front of me let out an “I’ll take this one.”
“Oh, here we go,” I thought to myself.
“Sex Tips” is an interactive (this is good to know before heading in) comedy show with simple stage production that’s carried by the three characters. After we were introduced to Stefan, we soon learned we were the audience at a reading of the namesake book for a seminar at a local university. Our host Robyn, played by Jacklyn Collier, was introduced to us as a shy professor who couldn’t bear the thought of having an entire discussion about sex. She was very attractive but her hair was up and she had glasses on, a classic “She’s All That” move.
Author Dan, our liaison for the evening played by Sean Hankison, took the stage with a grand entrance. He shared with the audience that the book was born from sex talk over boozy brunch with his bestie. Like we haven’t all been there.
“Let the gay begin,” he proclaimed. I took out my notebook (for journalistic purposes, of course), and we were off.
While most of what happens is not fit to print in your friendly neighborhood newspaper, I can say I found myself laughing out loud and blushing — a lot.
Chapter one started off innocent enough. “It takes two.”
Our shy, nerdy Robyn got a “Queer Eye”-rific makeover where (gasp!) when she lets her hair down and changes her clothes and she’s ready to hit LoHi (or at least hypothetically for learning purposes).
I began taking notes (again, for journalism).
1. Look cute but don’t look like you’re on display. OK, got it.
2. Avoid the theater district if you’re looking for straight people. Noted.
3. When you walk into your spot, appear smart and open to your surroundings. But not with a weird creepy smile or stalker vibe. OK can do.
4. Showcase your vibrant personality with a half laugh, toss of the hair and quick scan to see if you caught anyone’s attention. Better than the last advice I got to stick my tongue out at a guy at a bar. Again, uh, no.
5. And after you reel in your catch, say hi and the first interesting thing that comes to you mind. OK, but make sure it’s not a reference to the decades since your last date.
OK cool, we were getting somewhere. I could use these tips.
That was about where all the printable tips came to an end (and things started to get really funny). From there it was a blur of feathers, blindfolds and a whole lot of words we can’t say. A do this here, a don’t do that there. And oddly enough, it never felt raunchy. It felt accessible and light-hearted.
Scribble, scribble, scribble goes the pen. But, while we could see Robyn — the embodiment of all our fears in a hiphugging green dress and glasses — aching inside to just let loose, she was still holding back. The frisky 40-something in front of us wasn’t the only one hot for Stefan, so was Robyn. And she was nervous.
At one point, when the hilariously open Ben asks Robyn why she feels she can’t fully embrace the tips she blurts: “When you’re a woman you have to act differently, that’s just the way it is.”
Girl, I hear that. Be flirty, but not too flirty. Look cute, but don’t give too much away. Make sure the man feels in control.
But then our fabulous gay friend swooped in to remind us: Honey, you do you.
I started to sense a trend: Our meek, glasses-clad professor was gaining more and more confidence with each tip. And while we were LOLing — most of the time at the expense of a randomly-selected audience member of varying ages — we were also watching her get closer and closer to getting the guy.
Oohhh waitttt, this is a story about confidence, not sex! (OK, well, definitely sex, too).
I won’t spoil it for you, but they all live happily ever after – and I don’t mean just because we get a space-themed striptease from Stefan at the end.
And hopefully, it will translate into my own getting-the-hunkalicious-assistant happily ever after for me too some day. I just have to remember the parting words: “In life, and in the bedroom, don’t just be yourself, be your best self.”
Got it, see you in LoDo. I’ll be the one doing the half laugh-hair-flip-room scan.