Prof asks why men act the way they do
New series of classes examines toxic masculinity
Men aren’t doing so well in today’s society — or at least that’s what Steve Rissman, a professor at Metropolitan State University of Denver, thinks.
Men die on average five to seven years earlier than women, because of a variety of factors, including suicide. Men are more likely than women to die from most of the 10 leading causes of death, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control. And all too often, Rissman said, men and boys confused about their place in a rapidly changing world turn to a toxic mix of anger and resentment.
But that only makes sense, because men have been told that the only masculine emotion they can display is anger, Rissman said. Fear and other “softer” emotions are stifled in the modern male, which can lead to physical and mental health problems.
“If you can’t admit to vulnerabilities, you aren’t likely to seek help, and that will only be trouble in the long run,” Rissman said. “We teach boys early on, ‘Don’t express your needs, but be strong.’ And sometimes that means being angry. But now we have a huge problem of men dying early, and that’s just been accepted, and people say, ‘Well, that’s just the way things are.’
“But wait a second. That’s really not OK.”
Rissman has been examining why men are in such a fix through a series of men’s health classes at Metro State that he developed. These classes are now being offered under a new men’s health minor that’s open to all majors of study and will be the first of its kind in the country, according to university officials.
The courses will be led by Rissman, a professor at Metro for 10 years, who counsels young men on their anger and anxiety issues and writes extensively about men’s diseases and mental health.
Rissman’s classes include men and anger, men’s health, men across cultures and several others. A new class, fathers and fathering, will be offered in the spring. Each looks at men through a wide cultural lens and tries to provide some answers to nagging questions, including a male’s refusal to deal with his health, Rissman said.
“A lot of women ask, ‘Why do men act the way they do?’ ” he said. “Maybe we can help with some answers.”
“It allows me to communicate better with men”
The classes are offered to both men and women, and they have proven invaluable to Pau line Zamora, an integrated health major who wants to become a doctor.
“There are lots of classes offered to women that talk about women’s health, but I’ve never seen a class that looks at men’s heath,” Zamora said. “But it really helps. It allows me to communicate better with men. They’ve been told to really suffer in silence and don’t admit they might need help with something. But to help them with their health, they have to open up to someone.”
Student Garciela Torres, an emergency medical technician, enrolled in Rissman’s classes to get a better idea of what made her father and brother tick, and to understand how men respond to health concerns.
“I now approach issues more with an open understanding than before, and I work hard not to judge based on circumstances,” said Torres, who wants to become a fulltime health and wellness coach.
“Even with patients and parents, when I respond to an EMT call for a child, the mother and father are most likely going to react differently to fear of the unknown, stress and pressure,” Torres said. “I gained a lot of understanding on how to handle those situations differently.”
Former student Andrew Parks said he learned through Riss
man’s classes how vast societal changes are influencing men — and often not in a positive way.
“We really don’t have that many rituals or landmarks about becoming a man anymore,” Parks said. “Maybe a Jewish bar mitzvah or maybe graduating from high school. But we don’t have elders around to guide us anymore.
“And now we are seeing a changing world where men have to share power or relinquish it altogether,” he said, “and a lot of men, especially from older generations, are having a problem with that.”
Some men also still see anger and aggression as the only gauge of masculinity, Parks said. “In so many cases, we see men drawing a line in the sand. They can’t show weakness, so they challenge each other to fight over a girl or something else.”
“We haven’t dealt with men’s health as a gender”
Helping men come to grips with their health needs not only benefits individuals and their families, but also the community as a whole, said Jean Bonhomme, founder and executive director of the National Black Men’s Health Network.
“Premature, unnecessary male death, illness and disability hurts the economy — causing lost hours from work, diminished productivity — and it impairs family stability,” Bonhomme said. Men sidelined by illness and disability also can “undermine the health of women and children, directly, emotionally and economically.”
In a recent class that examined men and their relationship with women, Rissman talked with 13 students — mostly women — about the influence mothers have on their sons.
Rissman said many homes don’t have fathers that sons can learn from and emulate.
Other homes have fathers who quickly pass most of the responsibilities of raising children onto the mother.
That can lead to a son forming an unhealthy bond with his mom and developing anger and resentment as he grows older, Rissman said.
“He goes to medical school to please Mom and 10 to 20 years later, he realizes, ‘I don’t like this life I have,’ ” Rissman said. “Reality hits him pretty hard in the face.”
Some young men try to repeat their relationship with their mom with a prospective wife or girlfriend. “Then you have clingy guys, who want someone to take care of their needs,” Rissman said.
Others forgo any relationships with women. “They simply withdraw from life,” he said.
Rissman’s classes include talks about men in minority cultures.
He also quickly points out that he supports efforts to improve women’s mental and physical health.
“There is a women’s studies on every campus, and that is great and very important,” Rissman said. “It’s just that we haven’t dealt with men’s health as a gender in a comprehensive way. I think it’s great we are taking that on.”