Ranking “Dancing With the Stars” contestants
“Dancing With the Stars” had more controversy than usual leading up to its Season 28 premiere Monday night. Last month, when ABC announced that President Donald Trump’s former White House press secretary Sean Spicer was joining the cast, outrage erupted on social media that the falsehood-prone former administration official would have a chance to repair his image on a powerful TV platform.
“The internet kind of broke talking about Sean Spicer being on ‘Dancing With the Stars,’ ” Spicer’s professional dance partner, Lindsay Arnold, said in their pre-recorded introduction video. Apparently, Spicer — who performed a salsa to the Spice Girls hit “Spice Up Your Life” — was trying to break the internet again on his first episode, because he showed up in a flamboyant outfit that led to many Twitter comments like this:
“Oh Sean Spicer ... whichever producer picked that outfit for you DEFINITELY voted for Hillary in 2016.”
Here’s our ranking of all 12 pairs from the first night, from best to worst:
1) James Van Der Beek, 42, and Emma Slater (tango, judge scores: 7, 7, 7 for a total of 21 out of 30 points)
Best known as: Dawson from the hit WB teen drama, “Dawson’s Creek.”
Performance: He crushed it. “We have a leading man in the house!” Carrie Ann Inaba shouted, sounding relieved. Although Van Der Beek was the last dancer to perform, most of the others were rough to watch. (Blame first-week jitters?) Len Goodman complimented his technique and thought it was terrific, while Bruno Tonioli loved that he was completely in control of the dance the entire way through.
2) Lauren Alaina, 24, and Gleb Savchenko (cha cha, judge scores: 7, 6, 6 for a total of 19 out of 30 points)
Best known as: Country singer and runner-up of “American Idol” Season 10 in 2011.
Performance: Alaina impressed the judges with her energy, though Tonioli had criticisms about her footwork. Overall, he thought it was a “polished” performance: “It was like watching a sultry Southern belle giving me a steamy cha cha the way I like it,” he growled. Inaba complimented Savchenko’s choreography as “powerful,” while Goodman enjoyed her rhythm — although he thought the introduction was a bit long-winded.
3) Sailor Brinkley-Cook, 21, and Val Chmerkovskiy (fox trot, judge scores: 6, 6, 6 for a total of 18 out of 30 points)
Best known as: A Sports Illustrated model and daughter of supermodel Christie Brinkley. (Her mom was originally supposed to be in this cast, but during rehearsals, she fell and broke her arm. So Sailor stepped in to take her place for the rest of the season.)
Performance: Brinkley-Cook scored brownie points right away when she ran to her mom in the audience, cradling a cast; the moment the dance ended, they both started crying. The judges gave her a rave, of course, complimenting her talent and skills with only three days of practice. When Goodman started to offer actual criticism, everyone started yelling at him.
4) Mary Wilson, 75, and Brandon Armstrong (fox trot, judge scores: 6, 5, 6 for a total of 17 out of 30 points)
Best known as: Founder of legendary group The Supremes, the first female group at Motown Records.
Performance: Wilson impressed the judges in a way that few other contestants did in Week 1, including Goodman: Even though he’s the same age as Wilson, he said, he wishes he could do a fox trot as well as she did. Tonioli and Inaba were almost too starstruck to speak, though they agreed it was “well done.”
5) Hannah Brown, 24, and Alan Bersten (cha cha, judge scores: 7, 7, 6 for a total of 20 out of 30 points)
Best known as: Last season’s “Bachelorette” star who dumped the “winner,” Jed, in the finale when she found out he never broke up with his girlfriend before he joined the show.
Performance: Goodman called this a “crisp, clean, confident” dance that actually contained elements of the cha cha, which is basically a rave. Tonioli was a bit more critical, saying she has to work on her balance. Inaba loved her attitude and said that while Bersten was “dragging her around” at the beginning, she recovered nicely.
6) Karamo Brown, 38, and Jenna Johnson (salsa, judge scores: 6, 5, 6 for a total of 17 out of 30 points)
Best known as: The “culture expert” on Netflix’s hit series “Queer Eye.”
Performance: The judges must have had high hopes for Brown, because although it was a solid dance, they felt let down. “It was all a bit disappointing, really,” Goodman said by way of kicking things off, adding that Brown’s hip action needed work. Tonioli complimented his style but had the same hip complaint. Inaba also thought that Brown was too reserved and didn’t live up to his potential.
7) Kel Mitchell, 41, and Witney Carson (tango, judge scores: 6, 5, 5 for a total of 16 out of 30 points)
Best known as: The Nickelodeon child star from “All That,” “Kenan & Kel” and “Good Burger.”
Performance: The judges were fairly optimistic about Mitchell’s potential — they all said some variation of “You made some mistakes and weren’t great, but it’s only Week 1 and we loved your attitude!” Tonioli seemed especially pleased, and said Mitchell had serious determination.
8) Ally Brooke, 26, and Sasha Farber (cha cha, judge scores: 5, 5, 6 for a total of 16 out of 30 points)
Best known as: One of the members of pop group Fifth Harmony, which was assembled on “The X Factor.”
Performance: “There’s a lot of hip thrusting and gyrating,” Goodman said scornfully, and added, “There’s a lot of sort of Beyoncé stuff in there, which I’m not a fan of.” (He admitted that Brooke was still a very “competent” dancer.) Frankly, we didn’t even hear what Tonioli and Inaba said next, because we were wondering how quickly the Beyhive will come for Goodman.
9) Ray Lewis, 44, and Cheryl Burke (salsa, judge scores: 5, 5, 5 for a total of 15 out of 30 points)
Best known as: Two-time Super Bowl champion for the Baltimore Ravens.
Performance: For offering some mediocre scores, the judges gave a lot of compliments. “You know how to bring your A game,” Inaba gushed, while Tonioli was also thrilled with how he moved. Goodman added that he showed great potential.
10) Kate Flannery, 55, and Pasha Pashkov (cha cha, juge scores: 5, 5, 5 for a total of 15 out of 30 points)
Best known as: Meredith the alcoholic Dunder Mifflin employee on NBC’s “The Office.”
Performance: Mediocre! Inaba declared it a “great first dance” as Goodman stayed critical, advising Flannery to straighten her legs during the dances. Tonioli raved, “You can run my office anytime,” although he had some critiques about Flannery’s movement.
11) Lamar Odom, 38, and Peta Murgatroyd (fox trot, judge scores: 5, 3, 3 a total of 11 out of 30 points)
Best known as: Los Angeles Lakers star and ex-husband of Khloé Kardashian.
Performance: It was rough! The height difference between is Odom (6-foot-10) and Murgatroyd (5-foot-7) was significant, and Goodman thought “it lacked finesse.” Tonioli sympathized that the fox trot is the hardest dance to learn and pointed out lots of mistakes. Inaba, feeling pressure to offer something positive, said she loved that Odom wasn’t afraid to stand up straight and show off his full height.
12) Sean Spicer, 47, and Lindsay Arnold (salsa, judge scores: 4, 4, 4 for a total of 12 out of 30 points)
Best known as: President Trump’s first press secretary and inspiration for Melissa McCarthy’s Emmy-winning impression on “Saturday Night Live.”
Performance: Arnold bluntly stated that Spicer’s dancing ability is at a “pre- pre-school level” and it showed. You know it’s bad when Goodman barely says anything except “I admire your courage coming on this show.” Tonioli and Inaba went with “strangely entertaining.” “There were some elements of salsa there,” Tonioli said doubtfully. “Not always on time or on rhythm.”