Sleepy Hickenlooper

It’s just so-o-o-o-o exhausting to run for the U.S. Senate. Just ask poor, sleep-deprived John Hickenlooper who just couldn’t seem to get out of bed to participate in Democratic senate forums.

Those pesky political activists who voluntarily give their time, energy, and money are the lifeblood of his Democratic Party. But how rude that they expect you to actually show up and personally make your case on why you should be their nominee.

Don’t these irritating people understand that you’re a former governor who has been crowned the nominee by Washington power brokers? Those lesser Senate candidates are clearly inferior to the Chosen One. Just ask Senate Democratic Leader Chuck Schumer of New York and the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee in Washington, D.C. No need for a Democratic State Assembly or a Democratic Senate primary.

But Hickenlooper has finally answered the question about why he missed so many forums with his opponents sponsored by Democratic groups:

“I need my sleep.”

Yes, in response to a direct question from The Colorado Sun on why he has missed a forum, Hickenlooper responded that he needed his sleep.

Colorado Democratic State Chairperson Morgan Carroll should launch an immediate investigation into why these shadowy activist groups are scheduling forums at 3 a.m. right in the middle of the former governor’s REM sleep cycle. This conspiracy should be rooted out post-haste.

But then, it was the Colorado Democratic Party that imposed rules on the forums that prevented direct questioning by the candidates of their opponents which was clearly done to protect the Chosen One from any real scrutiny.

Hickenlooper always knew these people were out to get him but now he has hard evidence. Rather than genuflecting to the Chosen One in the Democratic caucuses, these activists who know him best gave him just 30% of their votes — despite Hickenlooper declaring “I do expect to win” — while 70% said they wanted someone else or are undecided.

But back to Hickenlooper’s sleep deprivation.

Insomnia is understandable as Hickenlooper awaits the Colorado Ethics Commission hearing to consider his ethical violations.

The Chosen One flagrantly ignored ethics rules while he was governor during his frequent jaunts on private planes owned by wealthy friends. But one incident in particular stands out.

Hickenlooper flew on a private jet belonging to the brother of billionaire Elon Musk so Hick could officiate the wedding of Musk’s brother. Shortly thereafter Hickenlooper signed an executive order that directly benefited Musk’s company that builds Tesla automobiles.

Hickenlooper’s buddy Musk has been in the news recently.

The October 2019 edition of Vanity Fair wrote an exhaustive story about Musk taking a $750 million subsidy from the state of New York to finance a failing solar panel factory in Buffalo leaving New York taxpayers and unemployed workers wondering where that money went.

And USA Today reported that Musk used his political influence with the governor and attorney general of Nevada to prevent workplace safety inspectors from total access in his gigantic and secretive “Gigafactory” outside Reno.

No wonder Musk and ethically challenged Hickenlooper are buddies. They have so much in common.

As pathetic as Hickenlooper’s campaign work ethic and ethical lapses are, he will probably still win the Democratic nomination for the U.S. Senate. The Schumer-dscc power axis has made sure he has raised millions more than his impoverished challengers.

But those challengers are not without complicity in this outcome. So far, not one of them has seriously attempted to hold Hickenlooper responsible for his laziness and ethical failings.

As a result, Colorado Democrats will probably nominate an ethically flawed candidate who will be woefully unprepared to take on the most talented and aggressive Republican candidate and campaign since 2002 when Gov. Bill Owens and Sen. Wayne Allard were reelected.

Unlike John “It’s the media’s job to protect me” Hickenlooper, who won two elections for governor without being truly tested and without any real media scrutiny, U.S. Sen. Cory Gardner unseated a heavily favored, popular incumbent in 2014. Gardner is ready for the fight in November.

Meanwhile, please send sleepy Hickenlooper a pillow.

Dick Wadhams is a Republican political consultant and a former Colorado Republican state chairman.