Help me fix a system rife with racism

For all my white girlfriends and guyfriends, while I appreciate you calling and checking on me, asking if I’m all right (I am, but just barely), I want you to know why I’m feeling the way I’m feeling and what you can do about it.

Don’t just check on me. Instead, help me check a system that is rife with systemic racism.

These injustices against black men, black women, black people must stop. So, please don’t try to cheer me up. I am feeling exactly what I’m supposed to be feeling at this time — pain, anger, frustration and hurt. Just because you are not black does not mean you don’t have skin in the fight to end this system of inequality and injustice.

The video of a black man allowing a cop to choke the life out of him is a powerful piece of footage. It showcases a system that is filled with injustices against black people. I believe George Floyd knew that if he tried to remove the cop’s knee or stand up, he would have been shot. So, he didn’t. I felt like a helpless newborn, watching my TV reveal the scene of a 46-year-old black man, who was almost 7-feet tall beg to breathe and call for his momma.

When I think of what my ancestors went through, and the fact that this can still happen in the 21st Century … like I said, I’m just barely all right.

Black people in America know that police have the power to kill our black husbands, black boyfriends and black partners right in front of us. And to intervene would mean that there would be two dead bodies lying in the dirt as opposed to one. So we think hard before we speak. We don’t yell at police about our rights like some white people because we know many cops think we don’t have any rights. That’s the reality of being a black person in America everyday. Regardless of our

money, status or title, we are considered expendable. That is a heavy, unjustifiable burden.

Sad to say, I’m used to seeing black men and women either not getting justice or having to fight for the same justice many white folks take for granted. But I won’t linger on these facts. My thoughts are too busy worrying about “who got next” when it comes to murdering the next black man. Will it be here in Denver? Will I know him? Will it be my husband or brother or someone I know from the business community? George Floyd should not be in a Pearland, Texas graveyard today lying next to his momma. But he is because the system has given a “thumbsup” to killing “us” if you’re a cop.

But I’m not hopeless, not by a long shot. And you shouldn’t be either.

If you want to do something constructive about where we are in history, get in front of me and lead the charge. I am tired. Black women everywhere are tired. We are tired of fighting for what we all know is right and just. We are tired of being the lone voices speaking up for black men, our men. We are tired of being alone in the fight for right. We need our white allies, our white friends who silently support us in text messages, but who are as quiet as church mice in public. When you are in a room full of white people and something racially offensive is said, speak up. Your silence is acceptance, complicitous, and unacceptable. It reveals who you really are when no one is looking. I need you shouting BLACK LIVES MATTER all year long, not just during Juneteenth or when there’s another black man down.

So don’t ask me how I’m doing.

Instead, tell me what you’re going to do about how I’m doing. Because if my white friends think this isn’t their problem, they’re not paying attention. I don’t need sympathy. I need energy. I need outrage. I need solidarity. If you are really a friend and have real love for me, you will wake up to the reality that the killing of black men (and women) is your problem too.

Maybe I should be calling my white friends and asking, “How are you doing?” After all, they’re just waking up to the fact that they’re on the Titanic right along with me. Either we’re going to help each other make it to a lifeboat or we will both go down together. There is no going back. Forward. Together.

I’ll end how I began.

To all my white girlfriends, I need you to be just as vocal about the senseless killings of black men in this country as your black friends. All voices are needed to advocate for the safety and fair treatment of black men … women … people. Not just black voices. So, no more clutching your pearls and turning away from the awful truth left by the residue of racism. It’s time for white girlfriends to stand up and join hands with black girlfriends and say, “I got you this time sis.”