These books can help you talk to your kids

As protests over the killing of George Floyd (and Ahmaud Arbery and Breonna Taylor and Rayshard Brooks) continue, many parents are wondering how to talk about the deaths and unrest with their children. But just as important in the long run, especially for nonblack parents, is how to keep the conversation about race and racism going when we’re not in a moment of national outrage, and to make sure all children see black people as heroes in a wide range of their own stories and not just as victims of oppression.

In this moment, try to address the killings and protests honestly and in an age appropriate way, said Y. Joy Harris-smith, a lecturer at Princeton Theological Seminary and the co-author of the forthcoming “The ABCS of Diversity: Helping Kids (and Ourselves!) Embrace Our Differences.”

You can start having conversations about race in preschool, said Jacqueline Dougé, a pediatrician and child health advocate based in Maryland — children can internalize racial bias between the ages of 2 and 4, according to an American Academy of Pediatrics article that Dougé co-wrote.

With preschool-age children, you should start by discussing racial differences in a positive way, said Marietta Collins, a clinical psychologist at Morehouse School of Medicine and the co-author of “Something Happened in Our Town: A Child’s Story About Racial Injustice,” which is a book for children about a police shooting.

Collins gave the example of a white child asking why another child had brown skin. A parent can take this opportunity to explain what melanin is and to talk about how wonderful it is that the world has so many different kinds of people.

children will be much more aware of what’s going on right now. So find out how much your child knows about the protests, Harris-smith said, because kids may know more than we think they do from overhearing the news, their parents talking, or simply noticing what is going on outside in their neighborhoods.

Once you assess what they know, you can have a conversation about the violence against black people without being too explicit with elementary-age children.

Dougé suggested starting with something like: “There are things happening in the news that are upsetting us. Unfortunately there were police officers that made bad choices for the wrong reasons because of the color of our skin.” Collins said that with children in elementary school, you should focus on how unfairly black and brown people have been treated throughout American history to the present day, because fairness is something all children can understand.

Ultimately, words and books should not be the end of your child’s education about race and racism. “The best advice I can give parents is to be models for the attitudes, behavior and values that they wish to see in their children,” said Nia Heard-garris, an attending physician at the Ann and Robert H. Lurie Children’s Hospital of Chicago.

Ages 0-3

Ezra Jack Keats’ books about Peter

(“The Snowy Day,” “A Letter to Amy,” “Hi, Cat!,” “Whistle for Willie”)

“I love all of Ezra Jack Keats’ books about Peter, because they show a black boy in the city and the stories are just about his curiosity, his bravery and his being a kid. They are beautiful meditations on the interiority of black childhood without trauma while still feeling very black.” — Kaitlyn Greenidge, NYT Parenting contributor and author of the novel “We Love You, Charlie Freeman”

Ages 3-5

“Saturday,” written and illustrated by Oge Mora

“This book is pure joy. A mom and her daughter, Ava, always look forward to Saturdays because it’s the one day of the week they get to spend together without school or work. On this particular Saturday, though, they experience a series of disappointments. Nothing seems to be going as planned. Still, thanks to Ava they figure out a way to enjoy their time together. A quiet yet profound picture book.” — Matt de la Peña, a Newbery Medal-winning author of seven young adult novels and five picture books, including “Last Stop on Market Street”

“Hair Love,” by Matthew A. Cherry. Illustrated by Vashti Harrison.

“Written by a former NFL wide receiver and now an Oscar-winning short film, ‘Hair Love’ tells the story of a black father learning to do his daughter’s hair for the first time and the special bond they share.” — Meena Harris, author of “Kamala and Maya’s Big Idea”

Ages 5-8 “Each Kindness,”

line Woodson. Illustrated by E.B. Lewis.

“A new girl, Maya, shows up at school, and the whole class, including Chloe, our main character, shuns her because she’s shabbily dressed and seems different. This goes on for a while, and then Maya is suddenly gone, and Chloe realizes she’s missed her chance to be kind. This is a powerful picture book that bravely ends with regret.” — Matt de la Peña

“The Youngest Marcher,” by Cynthia Levinson. Illustrated by Vanessa Brantley Newton. “It’s one of the more shocking and littleknown stories of the civil rights movement: In 1963, the city of Birmingham jailed hundreds of kids for joining the Children’s March. Among them was 9-yearold Audrey Faye Hendricks, taken from her family to spend a week behind bars, eating ‘oily grits’ and sleeping on a bare mattress. Levinson and Newton keep her story bright and snappy, emphasizing the girl’s eagerness to make a difference and her proud place in her community.” — Maria Russo, former children’s book editor at The New York Times

Ages 9-12 “Resist: 35 Profiles of Ordinary People Who Rose Up Against Tyranny and Injustice,”

by Veronica Chambers. Illustrated by Paul Ryding.

“Chambers, who is the senior editor of special projects here at The Times, has pulled together 35 inspiring stories from the past 500 years of history, each with a lesson for our kids about how to fight injustice in their own lives.” — Jessica Grose

“Not My Idea: A Book About Whiteness,” written and illustrated

by Anastasia Higginbotham

“An honest explanation about how power and privilege factor into the lives of white children, at the expense of other groups, and how they can help seek justice.” — Meena Harris

Ages 12+

“All American Boys,” by Jason Reynolds and Brendan Kiely

“This is a brilliant look at the effects of police brutality from the perspective of two teen boys: one white and one black. We get inside both of their minds and watch them grapple with the weight of something that is way too familiar in our country.” — Matt de la Peña

“Stamped: Racism, Antiracism, and You” by Jason Reynolds

and Ibram X. Kendi

“Reynolds and Kendi have created a book that slyly draws attention to the page itself. ‘Uh-oh. The R-word,’ they write. The word that ‘for many of us still feels Rated R. Or can be matched only with the other R word — run. But don’t. Let’s all just take a deep breath. Inhale. Hold it. Exhale and breathe out’ — and here, the text breaks apart to give us the dangerous word — ‘race.’ ” — Kaitlyn Greenidge