A metro area suburban dad’s unconventional guide to ballot issues
Perhaps as many as onequarter of all ballots to be voted will come in between now and Tuesday. Mine is one of them. For a suburban dad like me, the candidates are easy. Until we can make ballots more like IKEA instructions, I offer the following unconventional, fact- based guide to completing your ballot:
Amendment B: Legislators put this on the ballot to repeal a part of our constitution that guarantees that homeowners pay a smaller percentage of property taxes than businesses do.
Fact: If it passes, homeowners will undeniably pay a higher percentage in property taxes next year than if it fails. Businesses will see no reduction in their tax rate. The legislators who put it on the ballot will then get more of our money next year to spend on things completely unrelated to our worsening roads. Gallagher needs fixing, not destroying. Amendment B is like going to the doctor for a knee injury and being told they want to amputate your leg. No on B.
Amendment C: Like you, I was stunned to learn there are legal limitations on bingo and that they are stuck in our state Constitution, along with the equally important rights of speech, religion, guns and voting.
By 2040, more than 1.4 million Coloradans will be north of age 65 ( I may be one of them so I can crack a joke at our expense). Meanwhile, the legislature refuses to prioritize funding to improve our roads, which suck. More bingo opportunities likely mean fewer older drivers on the road. Less driving at or below the speed limit. Less stopping at yield signs. Once the legislature fixes our dang roads, or cars can drive themselves safely, we can come back and reregulate bingo like it was fracking. Yes on C.
Amendment 76: It requires two tiny things to vote in state and local elections: gotta be 18 and be a citizen. Again, who knew this was not already the law?
Facts: It has been the law for federal elections for a long time and no state, including Colorado, allows non- citizen voting. Only two states prohibit it ( AZ and ND). What is the point of citizenship, if non- citizens ( legal and illegal) have could have the exact same rights and privileges— including voting— as citizens? Yes on 76.
Amendment 77: My boys and I just watched Casino Royale, the Daniel Craig version. If we can get that kind of action and beautiful people in the existing gambling towns, it may just be worth it. Besides, if local governments can shut down private property rights to stop energy development, they ought to be able to expand gambling. Hang on … what about high stakes bingo?
roposition EE: Smoking is bad for you. Government- imposed price setting is bad for the economy. Those in favor of disproportionately increasing taxes on lower- income and middleclass smokers during this economic downturn say it is good for them. They argue that if you tax something more, you get less of it. Hmm. I wonder if politicians will repeat that logic when arguing for more tax increases. See Amendment B above.
Proposition 113: Democratic legislators did not trust Coloradans enough to put the National Popular Vote on our ballot. Instead, they defeated bipartisan opposition in order to send our electoral votes to the presidential candidate chosen by a majority of non- Coloradans. Of course, Gov. Jared Polis signed it. A grassroots effort of regular ol’
Coloradans petitioned to put this on the ballot so that we — not just Democratic politicians — get a say in this issue.
If 113 passes, a whole bunch of people who root against our Broncos, Rockies, Nugs and Avs will get to force us to support their choice for president, even if we disagree. No on 113.
Proposition 114: In addition to being discriminatory against non- gray wolves, there is a Dad economics lesson to be learned. Wolves exist to eat cows. Hamburgers come from cows. More wolves mean fewer cows. Think of it as a wolf tax on beef. IN- Out is set to open its first three Colorado restaurants by the end of this year. Right now, a DoubleDouble Gray Wolf Style is under $ 4. Let’s keep it that way. Middleclass Colorado doesn’t need another price hike on a food group. No on 114.
Proposition 115: 43 states, including ultra- conservative California, prohibit aborting a baby after some specified period of time. Colorado allows babies to be terminated up until the moment of birth. Because our kids loved Pinocchio, I quote Jiminy Cricket: “Always let your conscience be your guide.”
Proposition 116: There are those out there who think we are taxed too little. They are likely Raiders and Patriots fans. In this economy, those middle- class Coloradans who work hard to pay taxes deserve a small break, especially if the wolves are going to jack up the price of our burgers. Yes on 116.
Proposition 117: My kids try to defeat the time limit on how long they can play video games each week by calling it “digitalbased sensorimotor skill development.” It does not work. Legislators have tried to defeat our Taxpayer’s Bill of Rights ( TABOR) by renaming taxes “fees.” It is working. Vote yes to take back the power.
Proposition 118: Having the ability to earn time off to take care of a sick child or loved one sounds great. A $ 1.3 billion payroll tax on employees and employers to create a 200- person bureaucracy headed by a political appointee who has the power to raise taxes without asking our permission is awful. No on 118.
George Brauchler is a non- smoking suburban father of four public school- attending children who owns no cows, commercial property and who only gambles by driving on our roads.