Overheard verbal elder abuse worries neighbors

Dear Amy: Our house is about 20 feet, wall-to-wall, from the next house.

Pre-pandemic, we only knew our next-door neighbors by name and exchanged occasional greetings. The neighbors are an elderly gentleman, being cared for by his elderly daughter. She had mentioned that her father suffers from dementia. Her father is physically impaired and dependent on a walker.

Since reducing our world to the confines of our house and backyard, we hear the daughter screaming at her father at the top of her lungs, almost daily, very early in the morning.

While we can’t hear ever y word, she uses epithets and sounds verbally abusive.

He is visited by a home health care aide several times a week. Despite the health care visits, we think we may be the only people who know about this behavior, other than father and daughter.

Is there anything you would recommend that we can do to help them?

We fear anything we say could make it worse.

— Worried Neighbors Dear Worried: Ever y state has a mandated of fice of Adult Protective Ser vices (APS). APS is a social ser vice program authorized by law to receive and investigate reports of elder or vulnerable adult maltreatment, and to inter vene to protect the victims. Your county or town should have an af filiated agency that handles cases such as you describe. Please call and report exactly what you know. A social worker will follow up.

The elderly caregiver in this situation is no doubt ver y stressed. Her father might be hard of hearing (which might necessitate that she raise her voice). But no amount of stress or deafness justifies disrespect and verbal abuse.

You are witnesses to this abuse, and you must make the call. A case worker will assess the situation, and if they need more help or respite care, they might be able to receive it.

An internet search will reveal the APS office closest to you.

Dear Amy: “Worried Sister”

reported that her elderly brother physically attacked her, before he was moved to a nursing facility. Thank you for suggesting that she contact the social worker at her brother’s home before contemplating a visit.

Medical Social Workers can be found in nearly ever y medical setting, from hospitals, to nursing facilities, to home health and hospice agencies, and in some doctor’s offices, as well. They are an excellent resource for dealing with family matters, locating appropriate community resources, understanding psychosocial ef fects of health issues, and knowing about available financial resources.

And yes, they are a part of the team of health heroes facing increased risk during this pandemic.

— Retired Medical Social Worker in Nebraska

Dear Nebraska: Medical social workers provide an invaluable ser vice to families during extremely stressful times. I’m deeply grateful to the social workers who assisted me and both of my parents.