Showing deference as Christ did
Jesus himself expressed and introduced this type of mental power when he said, “If someone forces you to go with him one mile, go with him two miles.” (Matthew 5:41) It’s a principle of God every Christian needs to get in their mind and heart to love, respect, and serve life well. Do you have a second-mile mentality? When properly understood and applied, the trait of “deference” is developed in the soul where defensiveness and being offended are put to rest where Christian Character Counts.
Deference is an unfamiliar term to many. This problem makes sense since most cannot identify it in personality or other people’s character; for most, it is taboo. Very few people today understand how to go the second mile to produce this highly needed trait that has all but disappeared in society. Peer into most marriages, it’s not there. Peek into your typical families; gone. What about schoolhouses, churches, and other institutions? Nope, not there either. It’s sad because when deference is absent, disrespect, rudeness, and disorderliness are the outcome, and life suffers tremendously.
When a person, organization, or society shows deference in character, they know how to defer to people’s beliefs and judgments and humbly submit to well-established order. Britannica Dictionary defines deference this way: “It is a way of behaving that shows respect for someone or something” For example, in my life, I decided never to get a tattoo in deference or respect to my grandma Ivy (R.I.P.). An essential part of using deference, as we see Jesus doing, is giving up rights and serving others. Jesus deferred to the cross and his Father’s Love. We are to model Jesus’ submission and “deference” ability if we expect to live well with God, others, and ourselves (Phil 2:5-8). I invite everyone to create this personal habit in their soul, which everyone benefits from and grows.
Several things can be implemented into your daily routine to integrate this highly useable trait of deference into your makeup. In your marriage, please respect one another by understanding their uniqueness and difference of opinion. Families go the second mile by deferring to each other by listening and submitting to one another’s preferences regarding meals, T.V., or whatever. Organizations such as businesses, churches, and schools show respect and defer based on roles and responsibilities. Recall Jesus’ words when he said,
“whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant” (Matthew 20:20-25).
Deference is a good thing and healthy when inducted into reality. However, it leads to resentment, frustration, lower engagement, poor decisions, and retaliation when not appropriately used or left out altogether. Let’s all decide to get in tune with this powerful Christ-like character trait to ensure everyone wins in life. Make it part of your daily agenda to eliminate unnecessary differences and help others increase in the goodness of life —growth where everyone wins and where Christian Character Counts always.
With love and respect,
Drake Hunter is the
Senior Pastor at Elevating Life Church in Fort Morgan and the author of “Wonderfully Weird Living.”