Stephen Colbert on Trump's 'great' America: 'Might be short for Great Depression'
Late-night hosts took aim at Donald Trump for his effect on the stock market and his son Eric’s attack on Kellyanne Conway’s husband. Stephen Colbert On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert started by joking: “You know how Donald Trump keeps saying he’s going to make America great again? It turns out the ‘great’ might be short for ‘Great Depression’.”
Trump made an inaccurate claim on Twitter about China agreeing to remove tariffs on cars coming into the country from the US – and soon after the Dow Jones index dropped almost 800 points. “It might have been Trump’s fault, because it was,” he said.
The tweet was not true, and Colbert quipped: “Here’s how you can tell: the president said it.”
He also referenced a report claiming that Mueller’s investigation was just
tying up loose ends. “With any luck, Loose Ends is their code name for Don Jr,” he said.
Roy Wood (standing in for Trevor Noah, who had lost his voice)
On The Daily Show, Trevor Noah had lost his voice, so his correspondent Roy Wood took over. (Noah appeared on the show, but stayed silent: after losing his voice hosting a festival in South Africa he’s under doctor’s orders not to speak.)
Wood reported on various instances of post-election voter suppression, starting with Wisconsin Republicans trying to strip the Democratic governor and other officials of power before they come into office. One leading Democrat in the state referred to it as a hot mess.
“Does Wisconsin get their slang on a five-year delay?” Wood asked.
He continued: “Hot mess doesn’t even capture how blatantly corrupt this power grab is.”
Wood said it would “be like Marvel changing Spider-Man’s superpowers now that he’s black” and added: “This is voter suppression after the election and it’s despicable.”
Another report has claimed that a Republican campaign worker in North
Carolina was offering to complete ballots for voters. “Nobody likes voting so why would someone want to do extra voting?” he joked.
Wood continued: “Republicans are doing everything they can to distort the will of the people and what makes this so ironic is that for years, Republicans have been searching high and low for evidence of voter fraud but it turns out it was inside them all along.”
Seth Meyers
On Late Night with Seth Meyers, the host also spoke about the Mueller investigation coming to an end. “I’d say Trump is starting to sweat but that could be from anything,” he joked.
A report claims that Michael Cohen has said that his relationship with Trump has ruined his life. “Oh man, I feel the same way,” Meyers said. “When we started late night, it was supposed to be a cooking show.”
Jimmy Kimmel
On Jimmy Kimmel Live! the host spoke about Eric Trump. “Is he the smart one?” he asked. “Oh, there are no smart ones.”
Eric decided to launch an attack on George Conway, the husband of Trump’s “henchwoman” Kellyanne Conway, after he shared a critique of the president on Twitter, calling it disrespectful.
“Well, I tell you what, if he thinks that’s horrible then wait ’til he hears what Daddy and Aunty Stormy did to his stepmommy Melania,” he said. “I mean, talk about disrespectful.”
Kimmel also noted that he retweeted his own comment. “It’s like telling yourself a bedtime story,” he said.
Talking about the Mueller investigation, he joked: “If you haven’t been following this, we’re at the part in The Godfather where Michael Corleone goes to the baptism.”