Stephen Colbert: 'Trump is putting a tariff on summer!'
Late-night hosts focused on a variety of political topics, from Donald Trump’s trip to France to Democratic presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren.
Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert opened his monologue with a celebration of the historic battle known as D-day: “It’s the anniversary of D-day, when we beat the Nazis once and for until very recently.”
Colbert then turned to a brewing political storm in the Democratic party, with some Democrats calling for impeachment proceedings. House speaker Nancy Pelosi, however, has said she would rather Trump be imprisoned rather than impeached. Colbert shrugged at this and posed a different question: “OK, but why do we have to choose?”
There also might be some resistance from the president’s own party due to his proposed Mexico tariffs, which are due to begin this coming Monday. Being that the biggest imports from Mexico are avocados, tomatoes, beer and tequila, Colbert explained: “Trump is putting a tariff on summer!”
Because of these tariffs, Republicans are looking to speak up about it, in an act CNN Politics called “flirting with rebellion”. Colbert joked to his audience: “Flirting with rebellion? That could lead to a dalliance with integrity, maybe making eyes at governance, and then at the Christmas party, a drunken hookup with defending the constitution.”
Trump is currently in France, where he attended a memorial for the fallen soldiers and gave the Pelosi a new nickname, “Nervous Nancy”. Colbert made light of this, making it obvious she had every right to be nervous, saying in his Trump impersonation: “Yeah, something about me having control over the nuclear arsenal just makes her skittish.”
Trevor Noah
Trevor Noah focused on current Democratic presidential hopeful Elizabeth Warren and her continuing journey to the White House. During her time as a Harvard law professor, she proposed to her husband. Showing clips of Warren describing the first time she saw him in shorts and thought “Great legs”, Noah commented: “Geez, Warren, keep it in your pants!” He continued to jest about her nontraditional proposal, advising his audience: “In fact, all those ladies out there whose boyfriends are taking too long? Yeah, you know what to do. Go ask Elizabeth Warren’s husband to marry you.”
But much more important than her love life, Warren’s path then led her to becoming a leading expert on bankruptcy. “And not in the Donald Trump kinda way,” the Daily Show host slyly added. During this time, she would often be called to testify in front of Congress and once went head-to-head with then senator Joe Biden, who was then on the side of credit card companies, “which was never cool, like Crocs or taking your cousin to prom”, Noah quipped.
After her many testimonies, Warren continued a career in politics, and proposed creating a federal agency to protect consumers called the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. Barack Obama called on her to lead it but this was shut down by Mitch McConnell, who said he was “unenthusiastic” about her and the agency. Noah mocked him by his mumbling: “Why am I not surprised? Mitch McConnell is unenthusiastic about everything. Jesus Christ could return to Earth and McConnell would be like: ‘Meh, why is this such a big deal? I mean, I died four decades ago. You don’t see me bragging.’”
Returning to Warren’s next move, Noah described her setback this way: “So it turns out that back in the day, Elizabeth Warren was Mitch McCockblocked.” But after this, she ran for Senate and, in the words of Noah, “became McConnell’s McCoworker”.
Even though she was being called by multiple people, she would refuse to run for president in 2016. Noah pointed out the contrast between 2016 and now: “Wow, times have really changed in four years. Back then, Democrats were refusing to run for president, even if they had a ton of support. Now, if one person is nice to them on the streets, Democrats are like: ‘The people have spoken!’”
Despite this, Noah mentioned she’s standing out in her crowded field, mostly “thanks to her unique strategy”, looking down at his notes, “of having a plan”. The host then showed clips of her saying she has a plan as well as some of the details of these plans. Finally, Noah acknowledged there is a long way to go for her, but closed his monologue with this statement: “But for right now, it seems that, much like her husband, this campaign has legs.”