Spoti-fail: will the streaming service’s family playlist ruin your life?
Good news – or bad news, depending on your familial relationships: Spotify Family Mix is finally here in the UK. Trialled in the US and Ireland earlier this year, the new feature was quietly rolled out in the UK three weeks ago and is set to either gently improve or completely ruin your life.
I share my Spotify family account with my entire extended family: my dad (Motown fan, thinks the only good music after 1979 is made by Adele); my sister (embarrassing ska-punk only); my brother (whimsical folk); my boyfriend (metal or Kelly Clarkson, nothing in between); and brother-in-law (claims not to like music, not sure why he has an account). It is fair to say that we have very different musical tastes. So when the Family Mix – where Spotify jumbles together a selection of everyone in the family’s most-played tracks – appeared on our phones last month, the result was absolute chaos.
We found out that one of my sister’s most-played songs is Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door … the Avril Lavigne version. Clearly, Bob Dylan can’t compare. My brother almost left our group chat when I pointed out he’d been listening to DJ Snake’s Get Low. Apparently the algorithm is a grass and a liar, because he PLAYED IT ONCE AS A JOKE, ALL RIGHT. And it has given me a unique window into my sister’s husband’s secret life. Turns out my outdoorsy Australian brother-in-law’s most-played list includes Murder on the Dancefloor, Bonnie Tyler’s Holding Out for a Hero and … the Ghostbusters theme tune?
And while I can claim that a lot of the music that I stream is for work, there is no easy way I can explain away the sheer amount of Panic! At the Disco on there. It also exposes that, during an extremely stressful period, I only listened to Nelly’s back catalogue for an entire week.
Another feature tells you when someone else in your family has played a track you have listened to. Apparently, both my brother and I have listened to Busted’s Crashed the Wedding, but rather than it being a bonding experience, it’s actually a deeply embarrassing fact I’d rather not discuss with him. The only song everyone in my family seems to like is Otis Redding’s Sittin’ on the Dock of the Bay. Well, obviously. It’s pretty much an agreed fact that’s a classic. Nobody is breaking new ground here.
At least we are all fully-grown adults: my thoughts go out to younger families whose playlist lurches from Baby Shark and Billie Eilish to mum’s Wine O’Clock With the Girls playlist.
Think of all the divorces it could cause; imagine noticing that your other half has a host of romantic slow jamz on there, none of which they seem to play during your own bedroom escapades. Or, even worse, realising you have married a secret Killers fan.
Maybe Spotify is hoping it will bring families closer together – or maybe it’s a more cynical attempt at charging people extra (the family plan is £5 more than a normal monthly one). Plus, this way, it lures in potential customers from an early age, conveniently getting them hooked just before guaranteed hit machine Frozen 2 comes out.
In July, Spotify announced it was adding an in-app Disney hub, so if your six-year-old wants to listen to The Rock singing You’re Welcome from Moana they can, and will. On repeat. Apple Music and Amazon Prime also have a family plan that allows you to share music libraries, but not – thank God – a designated family playlist. Here’s the thing: your playlists are very much a personal matter. Most people don’t mind plugging the aux cord into their phone at a party, but nobody would just hit shuffle. Everyone has their public playlist – the carefully curated one that shows off a varied, edgy music taste – and a private one, which they play through their headphones on their morning commute to get them pumped up for a day of sitting at a desk and staring alternately at their computer screen and their phone screen.
There is also the fact that the feature has come as a complete surprise to most people. For instance, if I knew that my most-played tracks would be presented to my dad, I’d definitely have listened to less Megan Thee Stallion this month. On Twitter, there are some people saying it is the best feature Spotify has ever invented because they can spy on their siblings’ weird music tastes – and enjoying the fact that their “breakdown music” is shoved up against their mum’s Zumba songs. “I have never felt so exposed,” wrote one user, while another said the feature “is simultaneously bringing my family together and tearing it apart”.
Of course, the alternative is to go retro, only listen to CDs and avoid explaining Juicy J’s verse on Simon Says to Dad. Has anyone got an old Discman I can borrow?