Saturday Night Live: Timothée Chalamet hosts as vaccine jokes reign
This week’s Saturday Night Live kicks off with a sketch about “the American Gothic of the whole coronavirus situation”, doctors Anthony Fauci (Kate McKinnon, doing a less grotesque version of her Giuliani caricature) and Deborah Birx (Heidi Gardner). Fielding questions from Wolf Blitzer (Beck Bennett) about the new Covid vaccines, the popular Fauci gives competent answers about distribution plans, while Birx desperately tries to repair her damaged reputation, asking everyone “remember when Trump said to inject bleach and I did a stanky little face and I almost whispered … no?”
They describe the rollout plans for the vaccine, which will be distributed to states alphabetically, “starting wih aCalifornia and bNew York” and come in different forms according to region:
“In New York the vaccine vessels will be very thin on the bottom, while in Chicago they’ll be deep dish.”
As lazy and flat a cold open as the
show has done in recent memory, this one is forgotten as soon as it’s over.
Actor Timothée Chalamet hosts for the first time. Born and raised in New York, he reveals that his mother – a dance instructor and background actor – was actually an extra on SNL. They play a clip of when she “almost got spit on by Chris Farley” during a memorable 90s sketch. Afterwards, he plays the piano while reflecting on the unique charms of Christmas in New York: “Leaving cookies for Santa in the bathroom of the Port Authority bus terminal … eating Cheetos on the Ftrain on Christmas Eve … playing hide and seek in Grand Central and never seeing any of your friends ever again …” He’s joined by fellow New York – albeit Staten Island – kid, Pete Davidson, who regales with his own holiday memories: “Skiing across the Verrazano bridge … hearing Santa coming down the chimney and realizing it’s just rats … decorating our tree with spaghetti and scratch-offs …”
They keep the holiday humor going with A ‘Rona Family Christmas, in which we meet the Covids: mother, father, college-age daughter and her new boyfriend (famous for infecting Tom Hanks), and their ne’er-do-well son, whose failure at spreading infection and support for Cuomo (as opposed to Trump, who’s “done so much” for them) brings shame to his family. There’s lots of groanworthy puns here – especially bad is when the neighbors, the Herpes, show up – but there’s also some charm to be found in the broad goofiness.
A holiday commercial for Lexus’s December to Remember sees a suburban dad surprise his family with a new car, only to have his wife flip out at his recklessness. “This is a major purchase!” she exclaims. “It’s a Lexus – we don’t have the money for this!” As he tries to defend himself, a series of dark revelations unfurl: the family is near broke because he hasn’t worked since March of 2019, he has a major drinking problem and a creepy infatuation with his son’s girlfriend, and he bought the car with five grand borrowed from an infuriated neighbor (who happens to be sleeping with his wife). Bennett excels at playing truly pathetic suburban sad sacks, and between this and the previous sketch, shows good comedic rapport with Chalamet.
On the Dionne Warwick Show, the singer, and everyone’s favorite Twitter user, interviews Harry Styles (Chalamet, whose impression leaves a lot to be desired), even though she has no idea who he is. She asks him questions such as “What do I know you from?” and “Why is Wendy Williams being a bitch to me?” Afterwards, she brings on Billie Eilish (Melissa Villasenior), aka “Wendy Eyelash”, Chalamet (Chloe Fineman, reprising her impression of the host), and Machine Gun Kelly (Davidson), none of who she is any more familiar with. She closes out by inviting her audience to look under their seats. When they complain that there’s nothing there, she triumphantly responds, “That’s right – I don’t know owe you anything.” Using the diva’s aloof curtness as a jumping off point, Nwodim has fashioned a wonderfully fleshed-out and funny caricature, one that relies more on personality than simple impression. Here’s hoping it’s the first of many Warwick sketches.
Next, Chalamet, Bennett and Gardner return to play yet another family unit. This time, they’re rural farmers forced to sell their livestock in order to make ends meet. This sends Chalamet running off to their stables, where he sings a sad goodbye to his tiny – as in, almost microscopic – horse. The randomness of the horse’s reveal and the use of stop-motion animation make for a funny start, but the sketch simply drags on for too long.
The nights musical guests are Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street Band. The legendary rockers play the rollicking Ghosts, off their fantastic new album Letter to You.
On Weekend Update, Colin Jost discusses the Covid vaccine with Dr Wayne Wenowdis (McKinnon), whose entire schtick is pronouncing his v’s as w’s and vice versa. Like the last time he appeared, McKinnon reveals that the whole bit just a coping mechanism for her own anxiety over the future, not that this explanation redeems the character – possibly her alltime worst – at all. Next up, Jost is joined by Melissa Villasenor. Dressed like Dolly Parton, fake breasts and all, she belts out some quick snippets from the country legend’s songbook.
Those hoping Update might try to atone for its lowest moment by at least mention the allegations against Republican congressman Dan Crenshaw – to whom they gave an undeserved platform two years ago, and who has recently been accused of orchestrating a smear campaign against a female Navy veteran who alleges she was the victim of sexual assault at a V.A. hospital – will find themselves disappointed, although not likely surprised. Every time Crenshaw makes the news for some new public disgrace, it’s a further stain upon the show.
A baking competition show on the Food Network sees the contestants show off their confectionary creations, each one worse than the next (save for one contestant’s, whose normal cake is so boring it’s considered the loser of the bunch). Chalamet’s cake is especially revolting: shaped like an anus and/or vagina monster from out of Naked Lunch, it quivers, puckers and spews gunk, before eventually trying to devour its creator. This hits all the same beats as every other baking sketch, but that’s not the point. What makes these sketches a treat is in seeing how weird and gross they’re willing to go. To that end, this newest effort succeeds.
On XXL Rap Roundtable, Queen Latifah (Punkie Johnson) and guest star Questlove are joined by a pair of tattedup, rainbow-haired white SoundCloud rappers played by Davidson and Chalamet. While the rap elders thoughtfully discuss the current state of the culture, the “two confident white boys” interject with shouts of “SKIRT! SKIRT” and “YEET! YEET!” Entirely ignorant of the history of rap — their biggest influences are “Fallout Boys” and the rapping hamsters from a Kia commercial — their truly unbearable performance earns them slaps from an infuriated Questlove. It’s a decent enough takedown of Tik Tok teens and SoundCloud rappers, but awkward blocking and some missed timing holds it back.
Springsteen and the E-Street Band return and perform I’ll See You in My Dreams.
Sportsmax is a new offshoot from conservative media network Newsmax. Commentators, such as dirtbag Jets fans Deluca and Delvecio (Chalamet and Davidson, teaming up again) take up the attitude of Trump supporters in their refusal to recognize the results of the latest game, choosing instead to live in a fantasy world where their team didn’t get their asses kicked. Chalamet turns in his funniest performance of the night here, but by the time we move over to two Knicks fans heaping praise on Jeremy Lin, the sketch has definitely overstayed its welcome.
That just about wraps things up, although during the curtain call Chalamet seems poised to make a seemingly important statement. Those hoping he might comment on the fiasco of Warner Brothers dumping his upcoming movie Dune, along with the rest of their 2020 slate, on HBO Max – without first consulting film-makers – will be disappointed, as all he gets out is a pat entreaty to “treat others with kindness”.
Chalamet did fine as a first-time host. The show seemed intent on turning him and Davidson into a new comedy duo, but he actually seemed to have better onscreen chemistry with Beck Bennett, who, along with Ego Nwodim and Heidi Gardner, were the standouts of the night on the comedy side. That said, the stars of the show were without a doubt and to the surprise of no one, The Boss and band. Bruuuuuuuuce!
wards positive change post Covid-19. “People want affordable, sustainable fashion – and that’s what we are trying to do here,” said the model.
The notoriously white and privileged fashion business must also be inclusive if it is to reset in a positive way. Campbell has been speaking out on this subject for decades, long before the industry’s recent outpouring of apologies and diversity strategies in the wake of the Black Lives Matter movement.
“It’s kind of embarrassing, in 2020, to finally have all of this happen, to wake up to that. You should have been doing that already – that’s my opinion. I have not really taken part in any of these discussions because I find them a little bit insulting,” said Campbell.
“I’ve been pushing this thing for so many years, so now, for me, there is no change. What I’m doing is exactly what I was doing before this movement started – and I’m going to continue. It’s what I believe in, basically.”
Did Campbell feel these latest pronouncements were significant and real? “We’ll see. If they make noise about it, and it’s publicly known, you can hold them to it, can’t you? But I do believe in action and not words. Still, I try to keep optimistic.”
What was exciting, she said, was the global youth movement. “They have found their voices, and they are speaking out and demanding what they want. And they are change.”
Campbell has had a strange, sad year, after the death of her grandmother, to whom she was very close. “This time has been tough for people to grieve together,” she said, with Covid rules preventing a significant funeral. “She was so loved. Once we get the vaccine, or whatever it is that is going to be the new reset, we will give her a proper send-off.”
Otherwise, in lockdown, “I have enjoyed my little cocoon. I’ve tried not to have any expectations – living within one day and then the other day; learning patience, because this is not going to disappear as quickly as we would like it to; and understanding that being alone doesn’t mean you are lonely.”
She has also spent time filming her YouTube show, No Filter with Naomi, learning to rig her own lights and delving into her impressive contacts book for guests; a recent tete-a-Zoom with Mariah Carey was particularly memorable. While filming, she is as partial to waist-up dressing as the rest of the world: “I have really lived in kaftans and sweats. I only get dressed when I have to do No Filter, and then I’m only dressed from the top up, with my slippers on the bottom – happy feet!”
It was on her YouTube channel in
July 2019 that Campbell revealed what now feels like an eerily prescient preflight hygiene routine, in which she laboriously wiped every surface of the plane that might touch her body with anti-bacterial wipes.
In March, she took this a step further, flying home for the first lockdown wearing a full hazmat suit accessorised with a Burberry cape. The cape has since been donated to an as yet undisclosed museum where it will be presented as a defining object of this bizarre year, but she will fly in hazmat suits for the foreseeable future, including for the journey home from Lagos: “It’s nice that no one looks at me like a mad hatter any more.”
as an escaped convict in O Brother, Where Art Thou?, the Coen Brothers movie from 2000, and his pitch-perfect voicing of the title character in Wes Anderson’s Fantastic Mister Fox, from 2009, and you’ve got a career absolutely dominated by agreeable villainy.
He won an Oscar in 2005 for his role as a CIA assassin in Syriana, by which time Clooney had started writing and directing his own stuff, starting with 2002’s Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, about a cheery gameshow host who is also a killer. It hasn’t left him with a lot of things he can show to his kids.
“Maybe One Fine Day?” Clooney suggests. “Though I do kiss Michelle Pfeiffer, so the twins would be, like, ‘Eeeeeeergh! Bluuuurgh!’ I think some of the Coen Brothers movies I could get away with showing them. Well – maybe not that one where I’m building a sex machine in the basement.” That would be Burn After Reading, from 2008. In 2009 and 2011, Clooney was in a couple more acclaimed movies, Up in the Air and The Descendants, and in 2013 he was perfect as a slightly sleazy, ultimately heroic spaceman opposite Sandra Bullock in Gravity.
Up to 2013 he was working a lot. Clooney’s first marriage had ended years earlier, in the 1990s, before he got famous on ER. Through his most productive professional decades he was mostly single, and obsessive about being busy. “Taking projects because I felt like I needed to keep the continuum and keep working,” he says. “Everything changed when I got married to Amal.”
It’s worth taking a slightly more forensic look at his life in this period, as his freewheeling workaholic singledom came to an end and Clooney began a new phase of life. He has always loved telling stories, and the months straddling 2013 and 2014 gave rise to a lot – like the one about Clooney getting so rich off the success of Gravity( he earned a percentage of its box office) that he gathered together his 14 best friends and gave each $1m. In cash.
Now Clooney tells me another story, about the very earliest weeks of his relationship with Amal (then) Alamuddin, in February 2014. That month he was in the UK to talk up a new movie he’d directed and co-written, The Monuments Men, about soldiers at the tail-end of the Second World War who were tasked to protect priceless works of European art from Nazi looters. Innocently enough (he now insists), Clooney had mentioned a belief that the United Kingdom might return the Parthenon marbles to Greece.
“And that,” Clooney tells me, picking up the story, “was when your current prime minister compared me to Adolf Hitler.”
Excuse me?
“Boris Johnson. Literally compared me to Hitler.”
Clooney doesn’t often let the measured, cool-bean persona slip – but now he giggles like a schoolboy, reddening, properly amused. “It still makes me laugh. Bit of a stretch. But he said my comments about the Marbles made me an art thief like Hitler was an art thief.”
Anyway, here’s the weird part, says Clooney. Being compared to a fascist by a major British politician, “It was kind of great for me! Because Amal and I were secretly dating at the time. No one knew. There was all this uproar about what I’d said. And I was meeting Amal for dinner that night.” By coincidence, she had been hired as a lawyer to advocate on Greece’s behalf for the return of the Marbles. “She goes to me, ‘Y’know I’ve worked on that case? So listen. Here’s a lot of stuff you should say.’ She told me about Unesco rulings. Gave me all this info.” Next time Clooney spoke about the matter in public, hoping to settle Johnson’s hash, “I was just loaded with facts. Fantastic!”
That dinner discussing Boris and Hitler set the template, in a way, for the family-table conversations they would be having seven years later, in lockdown. George and Amal against the rakes and the bullies of the world stage. In the nearer term it set them on their way to marriage, in Italy in September 2014.
Looked at one way, I say to Clooney, you owe everything – your marriage, your kids, your present state of domestic contentment – to Boris Johnson. “You’re right,” he says. “So, what, I should send him a thank you note? I’ll send him a note. A thank you note. And a comb.”
With Amal, Clooney set up a foundation in 2016 with the intention of holding to account international figures who have abused human rights. If you’re wondering why you haven’t seen him in all that many films in the past few years, this is why, says Clooney. “Working less on movies, working more on life. I gotta tell you, it’s been pretty fun chasing some war criminals around.”
One of the things the foundation does is try to help on financial sanctions for those who profit from war crimes. Clooney really, really likes this bit. “We have forensic accountants we’ve hired away from the FBI to find these illicit bank accounts. People who are supposed to be safeguarding their people and, instead, are profiteering while those people are murdered? It’s really nice to be able to freeze all their assets and make them suddenly broke. It’s about as fun as anything can be.”
With the strides being made by the foundation, recently, in helping to prosecute war criminals in Darfur, and given the recent outcome of the US election, Clooney says he’s feeling more optimistic about the future than he has in a while. Way-back-when, in the 1990s, Clooney used to see Donald Trump on the New York party circuit. “I knew him as the guy who was, like, ‘Hey, what’s that cocktail waitress’s name? Is she single?’ That’s all he was. Literally that’s all he was. And to see that become president, it felt as though the world had gone crazy.” Now, he says, as the page turns to president-elect Joe Biden, “The hope starts. After four years of some pretty insane stuff coming out of the United States, there is some normalcy.”
We’ve been talking for a while. Clooney rubs his beard and stretches his neck. Outside, riding up and down on their bicycles, his twins could be up to anything by now. I expect he’ll go out and check on them once our conversation is over. We’re in that wrappingup, valedictory phase of a good and thorough chat, a time for by-the-ways and final thoughts. He says: “It’s been a crappy year. It has. But we’re gonna get through it. I believe that with my whole heart. If I didn’t believe that I don’t know how we’d raise kids in this world. We’re gonna get through these things and my hope and my belief is that we will come out better.”
At last he leans into his camera. He raises an eyebrow. “And, hey, listen, when we’re done here – let your kid have their bedroom back, will ya?” I promise I will.
The Midnight Sky is in select cinemas now, and on Netflix from 23 December
Are you all comfortable?” Everyone was in agreement. And, following her example, we all take turns singing the names of the people who have been killed. Everyone comes to the front to memorialise these names.
In your preamble to the song, you describe it as “a protest song about change” and you also say: “We all need to change. I also need to change.”Yes, that is something I realised years ago. In a cultural revolution, you have to look at yourself first before you start wagging your finger at other people and telling them what they have to do. I had to look at myself and there’s a lot that needs fixing.
America has gone though some incredibly tumultuous events of late and politics has become incredibly divisive. Has that affected you psychologically?Yes. It has. I was not that surprised about Donald Trump – we New Yorkers knew what he was like way before he was elected. What was a surprise was how many Republicans completely went along with him and how swiftly that happened. They ignored the racism, the misogyny and the lying. That was a surprise and it kind of broke my heart. It has been very disillusioning. I’m relieved with the result, but I’m not ready to jump for joy just yet.
The film is called American Utopia. Do you believe in the utopian ideal? No. It’s not possible, but it is something to be approached. There is a longing for improvement and betterment. I think that impulse is still there. A long time ago, the political thinker Alexis de Tocqueville said that America was an experiment and that is still the case. Sometimes, that experiment can fail, but there is hope and that’s what the film is about essentially.
So a better world is possible?Yes, I think so.