The Guardian (USA)

Why can’t the stormtroop­ers in Star Wars shoot straight?

- Rich Pelley

In the Guide’s weekly Solved! column, we look into a crucial pop-culture question you’ve been burning to know the answer to – and settle it, once and for all

Regardless of where you sit on the Star-Wars-Fan-Ometer TM – from bored mum to die-hard duvet-owner – everyone knows: stormtroop­ers, AKA the Galactic Empire’s plastic-looking soldiers, can’t shoot for toffee. This is made clear as early as Episode IV: A New Hope, when Luke and Han rescue Leia from the evil clutches of (dunn, dunn d-dunn) Darth Vader and blast their way back through the Death Star corridors to the Millennium Falcon. Wave upon wave of stormtroop­ers lie at every corner yet none can land a single shot and they topple like dominoes. Luke, Han and Leia use pilfered stormtroop­er E-11 rifles, so Vader’s minions can’t even blame their tools. So why are they such a horrible aim?

Well, for a start, it cannot help that they can’t see properly. Not as in “stormtroop­ers need to go to Specsavers”, but as Luke says when he and Han don ’trooper outfits to aid their escape: “I can’t see a thing in this helmet.” Is this a design flaw or something more sinister? In A New Hope, Darth Vader states he wants Leia alive. He’s planted a homing beacon on the Millennium Falcon and needs Luke, Han and Leia to escape so they can lead the Empire back to the Rebel base. So that means those stormtroop­ers must have been briefed to miss. Maybe that’s why they make such a song and dance about getting flung backwards when they get shot? They’re not even hurt, and are taking a dive so they can go for an early lunch.

If they are not being ordered to miss, perhaps an unseen presence is messing with their aim. As Obi-Wan says to Han: “In my experience, there is no such thing as luck.” Maybe it’s the Force that turns stormtroop­ers into such crap potshots?

Equally, the explanatio­n could be far more prosaic. After all, how does one become a stormtroop­er anyway? In the old days of Episode II: Attack of the Clones, stormtroop­ers (or more accurately clone troopers, cloned from the mercenary Jango Fett) were in inexhausti­ble supply. But by Episode VII: The Force Awakens, the Empire is so desperate it is reduced to kidnapping children (such as Finn) to enter stormtroop­er training academy without so much as an entrance exam or shooting-proficienc­y test. Maybe that’s why they tend to shoot from the hip, which as we all know makes it notoriousl­y hard to aim (even if it works for John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, Indiana Jones and, well, Han Solo).

Stormtroop­ers fight in armies, and armies have ranks, so maybe the rubbish ones are getting sent to the frontline. What we don’t see are brigadier general and field marshal stormtroop­er sipping Château Lafite over target practice back at HQ.

Perhaps most crucially, stormtroop­ers are only human. So we should look at human psychology: namely social loafing, the phenomenon where a person will exert less effort to achieve a goal when they work in a group. Your average frontline stormtroop­er is poorly trained, can’t see, has been told to miss, is firing against the Force, and may not want to be a stormtroop­er anyway. Wouldn’t you just blast randomly into the void desperatel­y hoping that someone else was going to do all the killing for you? To conclude: stormtroop­ers are lazy and that’s why they can’t shoot straight. They just can’t be bothered.

 ?? Photograph: Lucasfilm ?? Missing in action ... the grunts of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story.
Photograph: Lucasfilm Missing in action ... the grunts of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story.
 ?? Photograph: Allstar/ Disney/Lucasfilm ?? Major lasers ... troopers from Episode VII: The Force Awakens.
Photograph: Allstar/ Disney/Lucasfilm Major lasers ... troopers from Episode VII: The Force Awakens.

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