Hear us out: readers defend their favourite hated movies
Cats
Happily too. The CGI is a moot point. What stands up for me is a heartfelt story of being an outsider, belonging and creating the family you need. I thought it was a true and lovely film and one I could easily rewatch. Juicylicious
Sure, there’s no plot to speak of, but that’s beside the point. The movie is a lot of fun. It’s just one big boffo production number after another, with crazy visual effects. The wide-eyed ingenue is very wide-eyed throughout, Taylor Swift’s scene is wonderful, and Judi Dench looks like a cross between the Cowardly Lion and the beast in La Belle et la Bête. dmitrir
You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger
The best of Woody Allen’s London films. Brilliantly plotted. Notting Hill looks great in it. Should have made Lucy Punch a star. CrumlinBruiser
Hudson Hawk
I understand the studios tried to retool the marketing after Bruce Willis was unexpectedly successful as a macho man action hero in Die Hard, confusing the audience who sat down to see a goofy comedy movie. And goofy it certainly is, but with it’s fun back-and-forth between the heroes and the astonishing scene-chewing by the villains, it was a fun film back then, and a fun film right now. Plus Italy looks great. Plus James Coburn! SoleTwin
Massively flawed but Bruce Willis at the height of his fame (both a positive and a negative here, to be honest), Richard E Grant & Sandra Bernhard in scenery-chewing form and the one-forthe-ages museum heist/singalong to Swinging on a Star. mikebhoy
Streets of Fire
I know it’s not a good movie by any measure – it’s definitely a lot of style over substance – but I like it anyway. It bombed when it was released in 1984, and unlike some other “bad” movies I enjoy that went on to become cult favourites, its reputation does not seem to have improved over the years. witchland
Far and Away
One of my all-time favourite films is Ron Howard’s Far and Away which everyone mocked and loathed from the day it opened, but to me is a fabulously entertaining and exciting romantic adventure.
It was obviously a big influence on Titanic which is essentially the exact same film with extra added sinking ocean liner, and for that film James Horner totally nicked Enya’s Far and Away end credits song Book Of Days.
People often complain that Hollywood doesn’t make ’em like they used to, but when Ron Howard delivers a hugely old fashioned and unashamedly “Hollywood” movie everyone complains! AnwenWilson
The Lady in the Water
M Night Shyamalan brings an intriguing, gripping and original fantasy quest story to a Philadelphia apartment block. Giamatti is engaging and funny, and is backed by a magnificent cast. Fans know that there is no other film quite like this one, while cynics who hate it can often be seen bitterly gnawing their fist as they dimly realise that they are no longer capable of experiencing enchantment. alexito
Aeon Flux
I am a fan of the original cartoon from the 90s, and I know the big film version is very different, but as far as
I’m concerned, it is a pretty decent and fun sci-fi action film that is a bit underrated. JoeMath
Mommie Dearest
Although it has the unfashionable aesthetics of a 1981 American made-fortelevision film, it’s both a decent adaptation of Christina Crawford’s memoir and a realistic portrayal of that sort of borderline personality disordered type of mother. Speaking from experience here, Faye Dunaway’s performance with its hairpin transitions from mannered “normalcy” to manic self-pitying rage is brave and brilliant and true and honors the real-life horror that too many of us have witnessed as dependent children. Lollywillowes
End of Days
I love it because in my head I like to think that the film-makers intended to make an absurdist black comedy that is deliberately dumb and overblown. If you watch it that way then it is hugely entertaining. Of course, the film-makers were actually being deadly earnest and that somehow only makes it more fun. Guffmonkey_McBawbag
Dick Tracy
I loved it as a 12-year-old and was sufficiently taken with it to get a compendium of the comics which were fantastic. I’m now reading them all in date order as they are reissued (and unedited – some pretty bad stereotypes in there, but they recognise it and mention it in the forewords).
It did what it set out to do, brought over-the-top characters and baddies v goodies to life, and even Madonna is good in it because it is so camp and pulpy it doesn’t matter if your acting is a bit rubbish. Bilbicus
Transformers
It’s part fun, nostalgic coming of age story (that’s Spielberg’s bit) and part extraordinary spectacle (Bay’s). The sequels get increasingly soulless and offensive, but this is just what it needs to be, a good dumb colourful smash-up. jacobheath
Take Me Home Tonight
I know that it’s been panned for being juvenile and stupid with stupid characters. Personally I could really relate to Matt (Topher Grace) who’s got an education but doesn’t really know what to do with his life. Awkward people doing awkward things are also quite relatable. Most importantly I was entertained. The humor never reaches the peaks of something truly intellectually stimulating, but it’s a fun ride. Sometimes that’s all you need from a movie. Basiliskstare
Sex Lives of the Potato Men
I can’t think of a film that was more a victim of a snobby, class-ridden critical vendetta than this one. It’s not exactly flawless, but it didn’t deserve to face that line of smug, middle-class critics queueing up to give it a good kicking. I wonder if, in a few years time and with a swanky extra-laden Blu-ray release, it might be ripe for a critical reappraisal. davidabsalom
Cutthroat Island
Huge set pieces, brilliant actors let loose, fantastic soundtrack featuring a strong female protagonist. Fundamentally crass and with more than questionable dialogue? of course! It’s a pirate film! And a laugh-out-loud enjoyable one, once you get rid of all the prejudices against it! Arrrrrrr! GonzaloCotelo
Equilibrium
I always felt that Equilibrium was rather unfairly forgotten about. Yes, it was another early 2000’s Matrix knockoff, but it was quite entertaining, especially the “gun-fu” fight scenes. Reign of Fire was pretty enjoyable too. It had some good special effects for such a small budget film and Christian Bale again appearing as a gruff, post-apocalyptic anti-hero, a role his acting style seems to favour. Timcab
Diana
It seemed pretty sympathetic but also made her seem human. It wasn’t a hagiography. I’ve no interest in royalty but I like history and the two can get intertwined. This film was treated pretty shabbily but that perhaps came with the territory of making a film on this subject. Haigin88
Quantum of Solace
Sure, it lacks the goofy gadgets and the same scale that’s expected with Bond films, but neither did Royale, and everyone loves that film. The more subdued tone provides a Bond that’s at his most vulnerable and therefore a film where each of his mistakes hits all the harder – there’s a true sense that the lives Bond fails to save (or takes himself) actually have weight, which is so uncommon in not only the Bond series but the spy genre as a whole. Daniel Craig and Judi Dench remain great and the addition of Olga Kurylenko is a welcome one too, her character providing Bond a glimpse at a younger, more innocent version of himself that he thought forgotten (adding to that more human depiction of the super spy). On top of all that, Alicia Keys and Jack White’s theme is easily the franchise’s best – the instrumentals reflecting the cool, suave Bond we’ve known since Fleming’s novels and the lyrics highlighting his newfound vulnerability. FergalHarte
removal of the familiar can provide a challenge for survival, yet also a tantalising space for self-discovery.
1. I Am An Island by Tamsin CalidasThis memoir explores Calidas’s decision to swap city life for a remote Hebridean island. A series of devastating events leads to the breakdown of her marriage, and Calidas finds herself alone and isolated, cast away from the places and people she knows. Ultimately, it is the power of nature and the rhythm of the tides that offer both a healing and an awakening. It’s a book about solitude, resilience and survival.
2. Lord of the Flies by William GoldingNo list of castaway books would be complete without this 1954 novel, following a group of British schoolboys who become stranded on an uninhabited island. At first, they try to create an organised, civilised and safe place to live, but their attempts quickly descend into unruly chaos. We become witness to the base cruelties that branch from desperation and a hunger for power.
3. The Beach by Alex GarlandNick Hornby once described The Beach as “Lord of the Flies for Generation X”. When backpacker Richard is given a hand-sketched map, it promises to lead him to an unknown island and a secret beach untouched by tourism. Intrigued, Richard and two friends set off on a journey of discovery, eventually uncovering a community of travellers living on the shores of a Thai island. But utopia is laced with darkness, and the island paradise descends into violence and madness. An entire generation of travellers (me included) tucked this novel into their backpacks and went in search of the undiscovered.
4. The Summer Book by Tove JanssonSet on a small island in the Gulf of Finland, this timeless book tells the tale of an elderly artist spending a summer with her six-year-old granddaughter. Together they explore the island, discovering simple pleasures in nature, like the migration of birds or the arrival of a storm. Ali Smith said this book “reads like looking through clear water and seeing, suddenly, the depth”. It is one to be savoured for its gentle wisdom and gleaming wit.
5. Robinson Crusoe by Daniel DefoeThe quintessential desert-island adventure, first published in 1719, sees the titular castaway spend 28 years on a remote, tropical island after being shipwrecked. He gradually creates a life for himself, building a house, fighting cannibals, and befriending Friday, a prisoner whose life he saves. It is believed that Defoe’s inspiration for the story came from real-life castaway Alexander Selkirk, a Scottish sailor who spent four years on an uninhabited island off the Chilean coast.
6. Dirt Music by Tim WintonAustralia’s Winton writes landscapes and loners with unrivalled rawness and clarity. In Dirt Music, which was shortlisted for the Booker prize in 2002, he writes of Lu Fox, an outcast in the tough coastal town of his childhood. When events conspire and he is chased out of town, he chooses to cast himself away on an island off the west Australian coast. Lu lives only in the company of sharks and rays, foraging and fishing for his meals. Winton explores our communion with nature, and those grainy stretches of our lives when we crave an island for ourselves.
7. Grandad’s Island by Benji DaviesThis picture book is a favourite with our children at bedtime. A young boy climbs through a door in his grandad’s attic, only to journey to a wild, beautiful island awash with colour – where grandad decides he must remain. It’s a charming and wise tale about loved ones living on in our memories. The cheerful illustrations of an unreachable island lightens the message and allows plenty of space for discussing what follows life.
8. The Lamplighters by Emma StonexInspired by real events, The Lamplighters (which publishes on 4 March) is set in a remote lighthouse off the Cornish coast. Three keepers vanish from their postings, yet the door remains locked, the clocks have stopped, and the weather log details a mighty storm, despite the skies having been clear all week. Twenty years later as what happened to the three men becomes clearer, the story evolves into a story of love, grief, and the profound effects of extreme isolation.
9. Gift From the Sea by Anne Morrow LindberghI do most of my writing by hand in a beach hut, which is perhaps why Gift From the Sea is a book I regularly return to. First published in 1955, the author takes refuge in a beach shack for two weeks each year, granting herself space to think and breathe outside her role as a mother: “I must find a balance somewhere, or an alternating rhythm between these two extremes; a swinging of the pendulum between solitude and communion, between retreat and return.” Choosing to be cast away from her family, she gains wisdom and solace from the shells she collects, nature becoming her teacher, and the horizon providing the ideal blank space from which to create.
10. Life of Pi by Yann MartelAfter the tragic sinking of a cargo ship, a 16year-old boy ends up drifting in a lifeboat for 227 days with only a hyena, zebra, orangutan and Bengal tiger for company. How’s that for an unlikely bunch of castaways? Pi’s journey is as an allegory for the spiritual journey of finding faith and belief in one’s self. It’s one of the best loved works of modern fiction and has garnered many fans, including Barack Obama, who wrote a letter directly to Martel, describing Life of Pi as “an elegant proof of God, and the power of storytelling”.
•The Castaways by Lucy Clarke is published 18 March (HarperCollins).
that games provide and the ways in which rules and regulations can be altered by players to enhance the experience. A good example from board games is Monopoly, where some families agree to stash all the money paid out in fines under the free parking square so that the player who lands there gets to keep it all. It’s a cheat, but it’s one all participants have agreed on and endorsed. An example from video games might be rocket jumping in Quake Arena – it’s cheating, but it is also an accepted tactic, so it’s fine.
There is also a difference between rule-breaking cheats and game-breaking cheats. Some people cheat just to further their own status within a game, but others cheat to break the game itself. This might be to specifically ruin the experience of others – known as griefing – or it might be to test themselves against the game’s creators. In this context of anarchy and sabotage, cheating IS the game. In his GDC talk about multiplayer online cheating, developer Jeff Morris refers to this demographic as Jimbo Jones cheaters, after the vindictive delinquent schoolboy in The Simpsons. “They’re bullies,” he says. “They want to take the game down – their opponent is the developer, from whom they get attention.”
The moral rules of video game participation are complex and ambiguous. We’ve grown up with cheat codes, pokes and exploits as an accepted element of play – designers themselves have often coded these elements into their own products. And the very structure of game worlds, with their hidden shortcuts and secrets, suggests to players that these are negotiable spaces, where law, morality and even geography, can be bent to the will of determined protagonists. Games are also places where victory is paramount, where winning is everything. So should we be surprised that people want to cheat?
When asked about the anthropological meaning of cheating for an NBC feature, the neuroscientist Don Vaughn stated: “The human brain never evolved a mechanism to separate a game from reality. If a lion was chasing one of our ancestors on the savanna, it was real, every time. There were no movies, plays or simulations. Modern neuroscience has revealed that just thinking about imagined situations activates the same brain regions as the actual experience. So when you have to pay $2,000 to your sister for landing on Boardwalk, your brain is really experiencing loss.”
The human brain is a puzzle-solving machine, constructed specifically to find shortcuts and advantages over predators and competitors. Maybe it’s that simple. We think, therefore we cheat.