How we met: ‘I was trying to have a baby alone when we matched on a dating app’
After turning 30 in 2018, Emmy made the lifechanging decision to have a baby alone. “I had always really wanted children,” she says. “But when I did a fertility MOT, I discovered I had low egg reserves.” Single, and reluctant to wait for a suitable partner to come along, she began the process of IVF. “I naively thought it would work, but I had a couple of miscarriages in the early stages.”
In February 2020, she travelled to Athens to try artificial insemination by a donor. “I’ve lived and worked in Greece and loved it. It was cheaper and I had friends to stay with,” she says. Before she landed, she matched on a dating app with a man from Liverpool called Andy, and they began to chat. “I’d been single for about four years and was quite happy in my own world,” he says. “But I was open to meeting someone and I found Emmy really engaging.”
After the trip, Emmy returned briefly to her house in the Peak District before going to London for work. “I worked as a hair and makeup artist for films. I used to go to London all the time and lived in my caravan while I was there.” While in London, she experienced a chemical pregnancy, an early form of miscarriage. Although she was devastated, talking to Andy was a nice distraction.
In March, Emmy went back home and arranged to meet Andy for a picnic. “We knew things were getting worse with Covid and wanted to be safe,” she says. “Andy has Crohn’s disease too, although we didn’t really know the full extent of the risks with the virus at the time.” Just before they were due to meet, Andy received a text message from the NHS advising him to shield. Shortly after, the rest of the country went into lockdown. During the next few weeks, Andy and Emmy spoke to each other for several hours a day through video and voice calls.
“We got through the isolation period together,” says Andy. “In the evenings, we’d often watch a movie together in our own houses. It was really nice to have each other.” Emmy confided in him about her miscarriages. “He was really supportive,” she says. “There was something about his kindness and consistency that made me stay. I found myself missing him when I wasn’t talking to him.”
In April, Emmy brought him his weekly shop and they sat on the steps outside his home and talked. Eventually, when the lockdown rules were relaxed, they were able to meet for a walk in a park. “It was the first time I’d been out of the house in three months,” says Andy. “It was lovely to have that first proper outing together.”
Emmy formed a “support bubble” with Andy, and they began staying at each other’s houses regularly. He also helped with the gardening business she had set up during lockdown. “I was really careful and hardly saw anyone else as I was scared about giving Andy Covid,” she says.
By August, they became an official couple and, soon after, Emmy revealed she was pregnant with his baby. “I was excited but wanted him to know there was a big chance I could miscarry.” Andy moved in that September but she lost the baby a few weeks later, which was followed by another miscarriage after Christmas. In 2021, Emmy was referred for a clinical trial for women who had experienced multiple miscarriages. “We saw a specialist and both overhauled our health and lifestyle, too,” she says.
In June 2021, they found out Emmy was pregnant again. After being made redundant before lockdown, Andy found a new job with a wellbeing charity in Lancashire. Emmy went back to her old job, but is now doing more of her work from home.
Emmy loves how affectionate Andy is, and says he has a positive impact on her mental and physical wellbeing. “Usually, when people meet in their 30s, they have so much going on they don’t want to make sacrifices. I don’t think our relationship would have happened if it wasn’t for Covid, but I’m really grateful it did.”
While Andy is laidback, Emmy is more driven and organised. “We are like a jigsaw and our qualities fit together,” he says. “It’s a really nice balance. She kicks me up the bum, but I also calm her down. My life here is totally different from what my life was like in Liverpool, but I’d never change anything. For all the bad things the pandemic brought, it also made us stop and find each other.” Their little boy, Hughie, joined the family last week.
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