Destroying relationships in science’s name: how reality TV ‘experiments’ wreck lives
It’s incredible what producers can get away with on reality TV if it is done under the guise of a “social experiment”. Ever since Big Brother’s early noughties launch, the term has been used to evade scrutiny, but as the genre’s offerings get more bizarre and difficult to defend, it’s a claim that’s increasingly made.
Some of the most outrageous shows have justified their existence this way. We’ve seen pseudoscience rationalise the exploratory marriages of The Spouse House, which puts 14 singles into accelerated relationships for eight weeks in the hopes of leaving the mansion engaged. Married at First Sight described its gimmick of having couples meet for the first time at the altar as a “groundbreaking experiment”. And the supposed justification of Love Is Blind, which has taken the world by storm over the past few years? According to its description on Netflix, contestants talk to each other and even get engaged without ever seeing the other person, all in the name of a “social experiment”.
It is all done in the name of drama, as opposed to enlightenment. Netflix’s new show takes it a step further – by meddling in pre-existing relationships. A more surreal series from the creators of Love Is Blind, The Ultimatum: Marry or Move on – which features the same presenting duo of Nick and Vanessa Lachey – is described as “a new social experiment that pushes relationships to the next level.” We follow six couples at a crossroads – one partner has issued an ultimatum, another is unsure about the future of their relationship. Over two months, the pairs will date people from the other couples (largely in front of their partners) to determine whether they will stay together or go their separate ways.
Something about it feels particularly brazen. A lot of shows include soundbites from a TV psychologist or a panel of “experts” as part of the ruse, but The Ultimatum doesn’t even bother. In fact, it comes closer than any other series in being honest about its setup catering more to the audience than the couples. Not long into the first episode, Nick offers participants and viewers a don’t-try-this-at-home disclaimer: “Psychologists agree that an ultimatum is not a good way to get somebody else to do what you want.” Finally, some honesty! His wife, Vanessa, briefly counters this with the fact that an ultimatum worked for her when she levelled one at him and they subsequently broke up, dated other people, got back together and married. But it is still a mask-off moment, an admission of what we all know; the phrase “experiment” allows them to get away with an absolutely ludicrous premise, but the audience rarely buys into it as an explanation any more.
The Ultimatum is not the first show to encourage contestants to ruin their relationships in the name of pop psychology. In 2019, Singletown took five
UK couples and had them spend the summer dating as singletons, watching their other half’s shenanigans onscreen. US show Temptation Island has several couples agree to live with a group of singles of the opposite sex, in order to test the strength of their relationships – including frequent video rundowns of what their partner is getting up to.
These shows are especially addictive because of the high stakes. Watching couples destroy their relationships leaves you asking, mouth agape: “Why?” The answer is the same as it is in much of reality TV; manipulation. In an interview with Bustle, Temptation Island’s showrunner Scott Jeffress said that couples often believe the quacks who assure them that the show will save their union. “Any couple that comes on and says, ‘There’s no way we’ll break up, we’re in love,’ I say, bring it on,” Jeffress said. “This is a way to really test the relationship. If you truly are a match, you’ll walk away together. Usually, they buy in and say: ‘We need to try it.’”
Doing so can lead to devastating consequences. Before the second episode of The Ultimatum is over, there are already tears of regret and confessions from contestants that they should have thought twice. With all the bedhopping and saliva-swapping, you can’t help but think contestants would have been better off looking into polyamory, as in the Channel 4 show Open House:
The Great Sex Experiment. Across six episodes, couples hole up in a luxury retreat to explore whether having open relationships and sex with other people can strengthen their relationship. Its “experiment” credentials are strengthened by intimacy therapist Dr Lori Beth Bisbey, who provides support and advice on how to open relationships safely and healthily. Yet it still just feels like an excuse to watch people have threesomes on telly.
Truly, the greatest trick the TV gods ever pulled was convincing couples to self-sabotage their relationships in the name of science. Even though couples might believe the shows have their best interests at heart, the rest of us do not. Producers need to realise something: “experiment” is a description of these shows that rings as true as Love Islanders saying they’re on the show to find that special someone.