How we met: ‘I turned up to a party dressed as a pirate. But I was the only one in costume’
When Tim, who is from Michigan, moved to Qingdao, on the coast of Shandong province in China, for a teaching job in 2017, he didn’t know anyone there. Within a few weeks, he found a bar that was hosting a taco night. “I went along as I thought it would be a cool way to meet new people,” he says. “I remember seeing Tumi with a group of friends, but immediately thought she was out of my league.”
Three months later, they met properly. “Tim’s a musician and was playing at a piano bar,” says Tumi, who is from West Yorkshire. “I told him how great it was because it’s rare to hear live music in the expat community.” Tim still wasn’t brave enough to ask for her number, but they continued to bump into each other over the next few months.
In May 2018, Tim tried to flirt at an event, but it didn’t go well. “I meant to say I’d seen her around but I told her: ‘I’ve been watching you’ instead,” he says. “I knew I’d blown it straight away.” Although Tumi thought he was cute, she admits his chat-up line was “a bit strange”.
Later that year, Tim got a second chance to impress his crush. “My coworker had a housewarming party just before Halloween,” he says. “I assumed it was a costume party so I turned up dressed as a pirate,” he says. “When I got there, I was the only one in costume.” He spotted Tumi, who was a friend of his colleague, and they got chatting properly for the first time. “I thought: ‘There’s strange, sexy Tim,’” she says. “I found it hilarious that he was dressed up. I had this shiny coat on, so told him I’d be his ‘piece of eight’.”
They spent the entire night chatting and the spark quickly became obvious. “I was planning to move away from China as I’d been there since 2014,” says Tumi. “But I thought we could have some fun before I left.” They arranged a sunrise hiking date for the following week. “I was a bit nervous about going up a mountain in the dark with a strange man,” she laughs. “But we had a great time.” As soon as they reached the top, they sat and chatted for hours, learning all about each other. From then on they became inseparable, spending every day in each other’s company. “We just got on so well and laughed so much,” says Tim.
In February 2019, they moved in together before getting engaged that September. “He proposed in the same place where we’d had our first date,” says Tumi. They moved to Michigan in early January, just before Covid hit, which was challenging for both of them. “In China, I’d had a big group of friends and been very independent,” says Tumi. “I couldn’t work in America to start with and didn’t have a driving licence. I felt very cooped up and dependent on Tim until my green card came last year.” Despite the difficulties, the experience helped them bond. “We learned to talk through our frustrations while still being compassionate. We became much more honest and learned a lot more about each other’s idiosyncrasies. It made our relationship stronger,” she says. In July 2020, they had an online wedding, which they celebrated on Zoom. Tim now works for a company that grows and sells cannabis, while Tumi recruits language teachers to support people who are relocating.
Tim says they “make each other better. Tumi is adventurous to her core. She’s willing to go with the flow and be adaptable. We’ve learned so much from travelling together, living abroad and connecting with nature. There’s nobody in the world I’d rather be with.”
Tumi loves her partner’s kindness and compassion. “He wants to make sure he is living his life in the best way possible for him and everyone around him,” she says. “He doesn’t settle for complacency, whether in his work, his music or our relationship. He pinpoints what’s good and makes it even better.”
•Want to share your story? Tell us a little about yourself, your partner and how you got together byfilling in the form here