You be the judge: should my boyfriend stop eating so much butter?
My boyfriend, Tom, and I are always battling in the kitchen, especially when it comes to frying food. He’s British with Indian heritage, and I’m Spanish.
I prefer using olive oil to cook, whereas he uses butter. I don’t understand why Brits want to use butter on everything. One time, Tom even fried bread in butter in the pan. It was delicious, but it was like a heart attack on a plate.
In Spain, we use olive oil for dipping bread, to fry fish and meat, and generally to cook everything with. In the UK, butter seems to be more popular. In my opinion, it makes the food really heavy. Compared with olive oil, butter contains lots of cholesterol and saturated fat, so it’s bad for your heart.
Spain is the world’s largest olive oil producer, and there’s a reason why the Mediterranean diet is often called the best in the world. I come from northern Spain, near a place where a lot of people live to over 100. We walk a lot and we use olive oil in everything, and I reckon that’s the secret. I’ve noticed that in the UK olive oil seems to be used more seasonally: everyone drizzles it on salads in summer, but not to cook with year around.
Tom has been struggling to lose his “lockdown belly” – his words, not mine. He looks great, but cutting out butter would help him achieve his goals. He will literally fry a steak in butter on a Wednesday night. That’s too indulgent. He also uses butter to cook a vegetable stir-fry – that is blasphemy.
I think Tom’s addicted to the flavour of full-fat, salted butter. It’s kind of funny. When he has toast in the morning, I say, “Would you like some bread with your butter?”, because it’s absolutely slathered in it. When I catch him cooking our meals and he slices a huge knob of butter into a pan, I just sigh. Nothing can compare with the smell, taste and health benefits of extra virgin olive oil, so Tom should adjust to my way of doing things, especially if he wants to get serious about his health.
The defence: Tom
There’s that famous Britney Spears moment in an interview, where she’s asked if her shopping habit “is an addiction”. And she says, “No, but it makes me happy”. That’s how I feel about butter. I could give it up, but I’m just used to the taste.
I grew up on a farm in the country and we bought our butter and milk fresh from a neighbour. I’m used to putting it on everything.
I realise that the taste of butter can be overpowering for some, but olive oil doesn’t have enough personality or flavour. Whereas if something has been cooked in butter, it feels rich and sumptuous. During winter, there’s nothing better than garlic butter greens to go with a nicely seasoned sirloin steak – real British cooking.
Pedro often jokes that British food is bad, but he actually loves everything I make. Butter isn’t particularly unhealthy unless it’s used in excess. Pedro will come over when I’m cooking, and make such a fuss. He will say: “Dios mio you’re going to give us a heart attack.” It’s all very dramatic.
Pedro is also a fantastic cook, but he’s a lot more health-conscious than me and doesn’t use as much spice and seasoning, other than garlic and parsley. Having a boyfriend from the Mediterranean has really highlighted how British and Indian I am when it comes to my cooking. I am really reliant on butter and also love using cayenne, ginger, turmeric and other spices that Pedro isn’t used to. We once had a row about how to season and fry a piece of fish. He didn’t want it as spicy, and he also wanted to fry it in olive oil.
I am fine with using olive oil when it is required – it is good in a salad. But for my everyday choice of fat, I prefer a nice salted butter. Nothing imparts flavour like it. Yes, I haven’t really lost the weight I put on in lockdown, but to be honest, I haven’t really tried. Pedro says butter is the problem but I don’t think it is. Pedro needs to be more open to cooking with a multitude of fats and flavours because I often compromise for him.
The jury of Guardian readers
Should Tom lay off the butter? Butter does make everything taste better. Yes, olive oil has its time and place, but for delicious flavour, I’m with AA Milne: “I do like a little bit of butter to my bread!”Janet, 57
My Punjabi roots beckon me towards butter, but an education in medicine tells me that Pedro is right about olive oil being healthier. Tom can still use butter once in a while, but he should compromise by not using it all the time.Prabhnoor, 25
Yes! I’m of British heritage and use olive or rapeseed oil for cooking. I view butter as an occasional treat and only when it makes sense (butter for stirfries?!) Also, try adding a little at the end – you get the buttery flavour using less of it.Alex, 36
Both Tom and Pedro have ingrained tastes. I agree with Tom that butter is delicious, and with Pedro that olive oil is healthier. They both need to compromise a little – but really, Pedro needs to let a bit of butter into his life.Martin, 62
Tom is not guilty, but both he and Pedro should compromise. Butter is delicious but so is olive oil, and both have their place in cooking. Share the cooking and alternate the fats. And loosen up, Pedro!Dawn, 62
Now you be the judge
In our online poll, tell us: who is laying it on a bit thick?
The poll closes at 10am GMT on Thursday 4 January 2024
Last week’s result
We asked whether Matt should keep his phone on more
41% of you said yes – Matt is guilty 59% of you said no – Matt is innocent
really looks like a top from the front. At the back, it’s more flesh than fabric.
Not for the faint-hearted perhaps, but the Australia-based content creator Camelia Farhoodi’s how-to TikTok has more than 13,000 likes. Being able to tie a knot behind your back feels like something a former Girl Guide should excel at but it turns out I’m hopeless. The resulting knot is flimsy at best. One false move and I might spontaneously unravel. It’s fine for twirling in front of a phone camera, but I might give this one a miss for New Year’s Eve.
Scarf hood hack
Something simpler, then. This hack turns a scarf into a hood by looping it around the neck, tucking the two ends downwards through the loop, then pulling the fabric at the back of the neck up over the head. The British content creator Annabel Staite has the hack pinned at the top of her TikTok page, where it’s had more than 5m views. “Use a really thick woolly scarf,” she advises. “I don’t think it would work as well with a thin scarf, and I also don’t think it would keep you very warm.” In fact, nearly every video of this viral hack uses nearidentical versions of the same fluffy, fringed, check scarf.Luckily, I have one of these, so put it to the test on a cold, wet day at Edinburgh’s Christmas markets. It’s a success: warm, dry, easy to replicate, harder to lose than a brolly. My sister’s verdict? “It looks a bit Handmaid’s Tale.”
Bra/shoe hack
Not all of this year’s biggest fashion hacks are visible: this one involves stuffing a bra padding insert – the kind that’s forever coming loose in the wash – into the toe of a pointed shoe. This stops your foot from “sliding forwards and pinching your toes together”, according to style account @stylexfox’s Instagram reel demonstrating the hack, which has more than 7,000 likes. “I’m always trying to find new ways to use bra inserts because I have a ton of them floating around,” says Sarah Brundage, the content creator behind the account.
I’ve also seen bra inserts repurposed as heel covers, to prevent rubbing – who knew those pesky pads could be so useful? Pointy-toed cowboy boots have been everywhere since summer – a look I got on board with – so I shove some long-abandoned bra inserts into the tip of mine, like make-shift ballet pointe pads. Unfortunately it means my boots are now at least a size too small, causing discomfort in new ways. My toes are destined to remain squished.
Baggy jeans hack
Gaping waistbands are a persistent problem for jeans-wearers, whatever your size, but denim can be particularly harmful to the environment and so finding a way to make your existing jeans work is a plus. The Mauritanian TikTokker @hbellla’s guide to “how I get all my jeans to fit perfectly” offers a solution that has been viewed nearly 700,000 times: first, she cuts a small hole near each side of the button fastening on the inside layer of denim, then attaches a safety pin to a long shoelace and threads it through to create a kind of internal drawstring. “Try watching it in 0.5 playback speed bestie” she urges one confused commenter on her video – another hack I wish I had known earlier.
The threading process is not straightforward; denim does not scrunch easily and my safety pin gets stuck halfway round. The personal trainer and online coach @_fernfitness – who favours a bobby pin over a safety pin for this hack – says in her 2022 TikTok tutorial that this is usually because material gets caught up on the pin, so you can cut another hole to release it if need be.
The effect is to create a bit of a paper bag waistline – fine with tops tucked in but a bit bulky if you want to wear anything over the top. “Just wear a belt!” I hear you cry. But as Fern puts it, “sometimes a belt isn’t a vibe”.