Behold the international football break – and a sepia-tinted one at that
The international break is a time for reflection, contemplation, and relaxation. In an exhausting and expensive season of club and elite European competition, it is the chance to mentally steel yourself for the infamous “business end of the season”. Especially when it is an international break predominantly made up of meaningless friendlies – something of a sepia-tinted throwback these days – it is a time to let those meaningless results wash over you: embrace them, arms raised, eyes closed like a liberated Andy Dufresne in a sewage ditch or Jude Bellingham in front of an away end.
Because the international break is rarely about the actual football. And that’s OK. Sometimes the lunch at Lord’s is better than the cricket. The kiss-cam on the jumbotron can be more entertaining than the action on the basketball court. It’s time to diversify interests. For the fans, it is an opportunity to finally get those DIY jobs sorted, the lawn re-seeded. Why would you watch the England v Brazil friendly at Wembley on Saturday – as Conor Gallagher does battle with Bruno Guimarães
for what seems like the 45th time this season – when you can leave the house and spend £5 on a sourdough loaf? That 11th season of Married at First Sight Australia isn’t going to watch itself.
If fans are finding new ways to spend their time and money, the players and clubs are finding new ways to accumulate theirs. In years gone by, the biggest stars would use this break to side-hustle some of those sweet, sweet image rights, creating some legendary adverts. Eric Cantona and Ian Wright playing Sunday league football on Hackney Marshes, with Parklife
blaring out in the background? Ooooof. Wayne Rooney in a caravan? Go on, then. Prime Beckham, Ronaldinho, Roberto Carlos, Totti all playing dress-up in a medieval reenactment? Yes please. However, without coming over all Game’s Gone, things are not the same in 2024. In an age where players – media-trained to an inch of their lives – brands (budgets slashed) and clubs all take fewer risks, it’s brilliant to see Tottenham still leading the charge with a range of individually-packaged chicken breasts. The sell-by-date on that thing remains unclear – with Harry Kane still on the packaging – but from retractable pitches to “bottoms-up” beer pouring system, Spurs have always been at the forefront of innovation.
Just in case commercial deals, international friendlies and trips to B&Q don’t do it for you over this international break, there are a few matches that actually matter. Thursday will see six Euro 2024 semi-final playoffs, 12 nations vying for the final spots at this year’s tournament in Germany, among them Wales v Finland. Friday’s World Cup 2026 qualifier between the British Virgin Islands and neighbours US Virgin Islands promises to be tasty. Good luck to the Welsh and to the Virgins. For the rest of us, we’ll see you down at the farmers’ market.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
“It’s not clear to anyone who follows football, fans and the clubs themselves and it ends up creating that chaos around it. Luton could invade the pitch, celebrate staying up, people have one of the greatest days of their lives and five days later get told: ‘Sorry, you’re relegated.’ It damages the competition. We might have to wait days after a season finishes. It’s like waiting for VAR. They have got themselves into a real mess, which is a shame” – former Nottingham Forest chief suit Paul Faulkner alludes to a Premier League season finale that will very possibly come with an asterisk attached and be clouded by uncertainty.
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