Dealing with Parenting in a Covid World
“An unprecedented time,” a phrase that has been heard a lot in the Covid world that is 2020.
Unprecedented, never done or known before. Seems fitting for what has felt like the ultimate fight or flight of my life. I have always prided myself of being a levelheaded and best foot forward person. I have always worked very hard to achieve the best that I can, while also being okay saying I do not know how to do this, please teach me.
When we began transitioning into quarantine, being lucky enough to work from home, I stepped into this unprecedented world optimistic. I felt confident in my ability to be successful, things even felt like they would be easier. No more driving to work, no more juggling child care, and how hard could home schooling really be. I had experienced depression in my life before and had found many ways to support my mental health, being aware that it was something I was prone too. I was completely unprepared for a new level of overwhelming and fully encompassing feelings that came. The worst thing was that it felt like failing. This should be easy, being a house spouse; cooking, cleaning, teaching, are not something “hard” and my workload is not any different than it has ever been. However, here I am, hiding in my bathroom crying because I feel like I am failing on all fronts. I have been lucky to have support and people who can assure me that I am not failing, that change can be uncomfortable, but it is okay to struggle to make
things work. What I keep coming across in my conversations with other parents is the lack of support or understanding of others. So many times, I have heard, “Your child education should come first! Why are you working and not responding to the email we sent 15 minutes ago to get into the class that started 10 minutes ago?” and “What do you mean you don’t know how to teach 4th grade history? You didn’t retain your entire public school education?”
This is a huge problem to me, that shame is the go-to. That in this unprecedented time, there is shame to be spread to people who are doing their best to adjust to something they have never faced before. Like I said, I have been so blessed with understanding and support and have had great experience with teachers, because I know that they too are trying their very best to do something new. Even with the best support I still am experiencing crippling depression and anxiety, it presses down on me like a giant elephant rampaging around the house that used to be my escape and is now my constant reality. My ask—or pleading on my knees—is that we all take a minute when preaching about this unprecedented time to dig deep and stop shaming. Take a minute before you tell a parent or just a person that “it's not that hard, it's not that big of a deal, 'in my day’,” that this is unprecedented, it is brand new and most people are doing their best. Maybe instead of telling them it isn’t that hard, ask “How can I help?”
Julia Castle, Moriarty