Ponds of Blondes

How many syllables are in the words all alone. Not one.

How many letters are in the word letters? In all the letters I wrote you last summer?

Three in both o-n-e and h-o-n.

The word plural ought to have an s, and hello, the word singular doesn’t need one.

The best food that is also a color is bread. The best food that is also a verb is flounder, maybe mustered.

We all have that one friend that says stupid shit like, “I like the taste of fruit better than the taste of candy.” I’m sorry

I never wrote you. It’s just that I can’t spell friendship without also spelling end.

Our favorite dog is named Pearl; the other’s Plural.

The most “blah” color is gravy. The best food that is also a color that is also a pet name is Honey. My pet’s pet name is Antihistamine,

but aren’t you allergic to dogs? Assign us a sinus infection. “Eat a colorful plate,” my doctor says like a real wise guy. But glass is just clear. And my doctor’s not a guy.

In St. John, we saw a ship full of cargo, also called a shipping ship. It was in the deep end of the ocean. I’m landlocked

in central Ohio. Hello. This is my SOS. I put the Mel in meltdown. I put the Mel in help me.