Family estrangement hard to explain to kids

DEAR ABBY » I am a woman who has been through a lot. I grew up thinking my grandmother was my mother, my mother was my sister, my uncle was my brother, and my own siblings my nieces and nephews. A “family issue” brought it all out, and now I am estranged from my family.

My grandmother who adopted me passed away a few years ago. The issue was lies and the fact that I was molested, which is why my grandmother stepped in. How do I explain to my children that we don’t have family on my side?

— Estranged in

New Mexico

DEAR ESTRANGED » Your family situation is complicated, and I don’t think it would be appropriate for you to reveal the details until your children are quite a bit more mature. Lies, cover-ups and child molestation are valid reasons to have distanced yourself.

In the meantime, tell them you will explain when they are older.

DEAR ABBY » I am a 64-year-old woman. For once in my life, my hair is long, about elbow length. My son visits me about once every three months because he lives an hour’s drive away. Today when he arrived, the first words out of his mouth were,

“You look like a witch!” It made me feel very sad. He then proceeded to tell me no one over the age of 40 should wear long hair. What do you think?

— Sad Mom in Colorado

DEAR SAD MOM » I think that at age 64, you can wear your hair any way you like it. Many women (and men) have allowed their hair to grow since the pandemic began, regardless of age. Do not allow your tactless son to be your fashion arbiter. Go, Rapunzel!