Honeymoon plan draws unwanted feedback

DEAR ABBY » My fiance, “Rowan,” and I are getting married this year. It is my second marriage and his first. Rowan has a young son I’ll call “Sean” from a previous relationship. I have a good relationship with Sean, and expressed to Rowan that I’d love to include Sean on our honeymoon, so we can have a proper first family vacation. (Rowan’s custody agreement states that no unmarried parties may live together when their child is present in the home.)

Rowan was enthusiastic about it, since I’ll finally be able to have proper bonding time with Sean in a home environment overnight.

But when I bring this up with anyone else, they say I am selfish for wanting to play “Mom” and include my soon-tobe stepson on a vacation that’s supposed to be for just me and my fiance.

We want to share this time with his son and have a fun family vacation. Are we doing the wrong thing? Should we leave Sean out? Why, with so many different family dynamics, is wanting to include Rowan’s son regarded as selfish?

— Unselfish in the South

DEAR UNSELFISH » You and Rowan should listen to your hearts instead of unsolicited advice. Wanting to include Sean on the trip is the opposite of selfish, and it is your and your fiance’s privilege to decide.

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