Revealing of newborn’s name triggers reaction

DEAR ABBY » I recently gave birth to our second child, a girl. Shortly afterward, my husband called his mother. She lives in a different state hours away and visits only once a year. When he told her the happy news and our little girl’s name, which we had kept a secret, she became very upset. It seems the name we had chosen, unbeknownst to us, was that of her husband’s mistress from years ago.

For days afterward, she would call my husband crying and pleading with him to change our baby’s name, telling him he should never have kept it a secret. She told him she would never speak that name. A week later, we received a generous gift of baby clothes in the mail from her. At this point, she hasn’t checked in with me, the one who gave birth. She refuses to acknowledge our baby’s name and will refer to her only as “little one.”

I don’t know how to thank her for her generous gift, as normally I would just call her. But it’s clear she doesn’t want to hear from me. Could you please advise how we move forward?

— Wrong Name in Pennsylvania

DEAR WRONG NAME » It was unfortunate that the name you (and your husband, I presume) chose for your daughter was the same as the woman your father-inlaw cheated with. If your motherin-law’s solution to the problem is to refer to her granddaughter as “little one,” accept it. It seems very loving, actually. And when you write her a lovely thank-you note for her generous gift, sign it, “With love from (your name) and “Little One,” which I think is a sweet nickname.