Neighbors’ partying a nuisance

DEAR AMY » My wife and I recently bought a beautiful new house that we are very happy with. We moved here in the winter and now that it’s summertime, we are all spending more time out on our decks.

Two of our new neighbors frequently have loud parties outside well past 10 p. m. It is concerning to us because we get up at 5 a. m. for work, and because my mother lives with us and her bedroom is very close to the noise.

We hesitate to say anything because we don’t want to start out on the wrong foot and create bad blood.

It was so loud until so late the other night that I wanted to call the police, but my wife asked me not to. I just can’t believe people would be so inconsiderate.

How can we politely get our point across without creating warfare? Should I just put up and shut up? — An Avid Reader DEAR AVID » If your house is brand new (and not just new to you), your neighbors have never had to think about anyone living where you live.

You should start by assuming that they aren’t aware of how much the sound travels on these otherwise quiet summer nights. Consider the idea that you are simply letting them know.

Don’t use words like “warfare” or “bad blood.” That kind of thinking is needlessly inflaming a situation that might be easily handled.

The next time this happens, if you feel it is safe to do so ( I assume it is), you should knock on your neighbor’s door (or call them if you have their number), introduce yourself and say, “Hey, it’s late and the sound really carries. Could your group take it inside, or could you ask your guests to be quieter?”

Check for the sound ordinances where you live. Many places restrict loud noises and music after 10 p. m. on a weekday and 11 or 12 on a weekend.

If you communicate clearly and respectfully and your neighbors repeatedly party into the night, your next step would be to call the police. DEAR AMY » I really recognized myself in the letter from “Must Love Dogs,” the woman who had developed a strong crush ( you called it a “fixation”) on a man at the dog park.

I am a perfectly rational person, and yet I had a similar experience with someone at work. I never thought I would say this, but staying away and limiting contact eventually did break the “spell,” just as you suggested.

When I look back, I don’t know what I was thinking! — Not Crushed DEAR NOT CRUSHED » I think this is probably more common than most people realize.