Student owes debt to parents

DEARAMY » I am in my late 20s. I live withmy parents. They paid formy college education and they are currently paying off the corresponding loans.

My father is not in the best shape, but he is working a lot of overtime in an attempt to get everything paid off before retiring.

They have not asked for any help with these bills, but I would like to offer without offending anyone.

There are two loans in my name, and I’d like to offer to take over one of them.

This would giveme the ability to continue saving for a place of my own, yet relieve themof some of the burden.

I am looking for the best way to approach this, any ideas? — Overburdened

DEAR OVER BURDENED » If you have two loans in your name, you should be paying off not one but both of these loans. Your parents have done enough. You are in your late-20s. Congratulations, you are an adult! Grow up already!

You are the person who should be working over- time to make these loan payments, not your father. You are a college graduate (thanks to your folks). You are (presumably) able-bodied. Postpone your plans to move out and double up on your own work to retire this debt.

If they refuse to let you contribute, then you should take the money you make fromyour own overtime, sock it into an account, and present them with the balance when you move out and/or they retire.

DEARAMY » I work in the film industry. As a woman, it has been a long and painful road, but things have improved lately, due to the current focus on hiring women in Hollywood.

As a result, the stressful but low-stakes work I had done previously has ratcheted up, and I am doing higher-caliber projects, have joined a guild and find myself in new environments with higher-ranked people.

There was amoment of elation for working on projects I truly believed in, for being in the guild with others I admire and for accomplishing my goals. But now I am miserable.

The higher ranks in this business seem just like laboring in the slums of Hollywood — there’s just more ego and way more pressure, although not necessarily more money.

I’m under a lot of pressure, but making progress on achieving my dreams might have revealed that this industry is not for me.

Part of me thinks that I should stick it out for another year and see where I am then, and part of me wants to sell my house and go screaming into the woods. What do you think? — Dreams Aren’t Always What They Seem

DEARDREAMS » I think you should stick with it for another year — and go screaming into the woods whenever possible.

You are overburdened and burned out right now. Find some non-industry-related things to do for fun (granted, a challenge in an industry town), stretch creatively outside of work and definitely spend as much time as possible in nature. There is no better way to clear your head.