Wanted: a civility movement
Like many people, I have strong opinions about the state of politics in the U.S. But, I’m increasingly concerned about the venom with which people state their opinions.
It doesn’t seem to be enough to explain their position and try to persuade others. Instead, they use hatred and sarcasm.
Amy, I have friends and relatives on Facebook that post incredibly hateful memes and accusations. I wonder why they do it. Is it really helpful?
Yes, I am aware that I can unfollow, unfriend, block, etc., and I frequently do, but the reason I’m there is to keep in touch and see what is happening in their lives.
I wish we could use social media for that, not for spewing hateful political messages.
Amy, my hope is that we could make an effort to get people to tone down their language a bit. Could we start a movement?
— Desperate About Discourse DEARDESPERATE » I completely agree with your concern regarding public (and private) discourse. I’ve been tagged on social media for being “too nice,” or trying to push a culture of politeness, at a time where rage is thought to be more appropriate and proportional.
On my own Facebook page and Twitter feed, I encourage civil discourse, and these limited spaces seem to be mainly free from foul language or hate (so far).
I don’t know how to start a movement, but I do know how to use my own voice. I suggest you do, too. Push back, respectfully. Challenge people to find ways to express their ideas and points of view without using hatecharged language.
DEARAMY » My husband and I are in our 30s and live on the East Coast.
My entire extended family (15 people) lives in the Midwest. We visit twice a year.
I talk to my parents, brother and grandmother on the phone regularly, but I would like to develop a closer relationship with one aunt and uncle in particular.
They’re great role models and they’ve always made gestures towardme. They taught me how to cook and bake from scratch. In graduate school, I received Christmas decorations they were getting rid of. (This was a huge deal to me!)
Recently, as they’ve begun to downsize, they’ve been giving my husband and me things we might use, including some items that have been in the family for generations. They’re not big on email or texting, and I’m not big on Facebook.
Do I swallow the awkwardness and call them out of the blue? How do I tell them that I want to reach out more?
— Someone’s Niece
DEARNIECE » Your aunt and uncle are offering you many reasons to call: to thank them for the gifts they are sending. Then you can call at other times, to say, “I just used that pie plate you gave me, and it made me think of you.”