The Mercury News Weekend

Cheese puffs in cat-proof cans?

- ADVICE Amy Dickinson Contact Amy Dickinson via email at askamy@ amydickins­on.com.

I’m not sure how to handle Thanksgivi­ng and Christmas meals at my in-law’s house.

Last year, right before the meal, I watched my motherin-law’s cat eating on the dining room table. It was hard not to vomit. I noticed the salad dressing had expired years ago.

In addition to all this, she leaves the dog and cat bowls on the same counter as the food being cooked. While it probably is not an actual safety threat, this is incredibly unappetizi­ng.

Over the years, I’ve found ways to get around eating most meals at the house. I sneak out for errands and run to a fastfood joint. I’ve also convinced them that I love cheese puffs that come in one of those huge containers. I can roll through a gallon of puffs in a few days if we are staying with them.

My wife has spoken to both her parents about this several times. Nothing has changed.

What should I do over the holidays? I don’t want to ruin these meals, but I also don’t think I can sit at the table and eat the food in front of me.

I’m also not sure I want my children eating food that is unsanitary. Your advice? — Holiday Hungry DEAR HUNGRY »

First of all, much as anyone might love to wear one of those cheese puff containers over their face like a feed bag, if you are sneaking food into the house, there are healthier options. (An apple, for instance, comes in a catproof container).

To your larger point, my suggestion­s are as follows: 1) Invite the in-laws to stay with you for the holidays. ( Yes, I know, they won’t leave their pets at home...)

2) You and your family find a nearby Airbnb with a kitchen. You can all hang at the in-laws’ house, but this will take the mealprep pressure off of them.

3) You and your family announce that you would like to bring much (or all) of the Thanksgivi­ng feast to their house. You can prepare most in advance and perhaps cook only the main dish at their house. Ask your mother-in-law to prepare one of her favorite dishes.

Yes, the prospect of cats on the table is disgusting (I have cats in my own household).

Yes, having pet food bowls on the counter is unappetizi­ng — and encourages them to graze on the counter.

Your wife has spoken with her folks several times about this, so assume that conditions at the house will not change. Be gentle, diplomatic and friendly: “We’re going to give you a break this year about cooking meals. We hope you’ll let us do the shopping and cooking.” DEAR AMY » “Working on it in the Midwest” wondered how to make amends for a drunken sexual assault he had committed in college.

This man should be made aware of the impact of this on the woman he assaulted. He should also seek to volunteer and support organizati­ons that serve survivors. — Assault Survivor DEAR SURVIVOR » Absolutely. Thank you.

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