Inheritance rides on politics
S AR AMY >> My 75-year- old father told me that he has decided that his stepson (my stepbrother) will no longer receive anything in his will. Why?
Well, my stepbrother has challenged my father’s political opinions a few times while talking to him on the phone. I’ve heard both sides of these stories, and while my stepbrother never yelled or made personal attacks against my father, it was apparently too much for my stepbrother to even question my father’s beliefs. My father is not speaking to him.
My stepmother died many years ago, and it seems my father is not considering any wishes she would have had, or he simply doesn’t care what she would have wanted.
Like my stepbrother, I am diametrically opposed to the political opinions of my father. Dad never holds back his opinions; you get them, regardless. Unlike my stepbrother, however, I do not challenge him; I just listen and nod to avoid causing any angst.
I think my father’s decision to remove my stepbrother from his will is ridiculous, but I do not know what I should do about it. Should I let my stepbrother know? Should I try to convince my father otherwise? I’m at a loss.
— Flummoxed
S AR yLUMMOX S >> No, I don’t think you should notify your stepbrother about your father’s plans, which may change.
Yes, I do think you should advocate for your stepbrother, reflecting your own compassionate opinion that his mother would have wanted him to be treated fairly in your father’s will.
I also think you should be brave enough to judiciously tell your father that you also disagree with his political views, but you have been keeping quiet because he seems to link his own happiness and relationships to a person’s political views: “Dad, I don’t always agree with your politics, but I still love and respect you. It makes me sad that you don’t seem able to do the same. This is our family. We have a lifetime of history together.”
I applaud your advocacy on your stepbrother’s behalf. You can’t force your father to the table, and you can’t force him to leave money to your stepbrother (or you) in his will, but when that time comes, you could choose to address the inequity by sharing your inheritance with him.
S AR AMY >> You recently ran a call-back reply from “Sad and Confused,” following up on her original question to you about whether she should visit her dying father. I was so gratified that she got back in touch to tell you that she had done so, and that she had shared a magical half-hour with him before his death. It truly brought tears to my eyes.
— Grateful SARGRATYUL >> Me too.