Neighbor considers vaccine talk

DEAR AMY >> Occasionally, I get together with a few of my neighbors.

Recently these people have commented negatively about people not getting the COVID-19 vaccine. I refuse to get this shot.

Should I admit my decision not to vaccinate and tell them about it?

Should I just not be their friend anymore? What is your advice?

— I Refuse

DEAR YOU REFUSE >> You have the right to roll the dice regarding your refusal to vaccinate against a highly contagious virus that is the cause of a global pandemic.

You do NOT have the right to withhold your decision when you know this is important to people you have been spending time with.

You likely believe this is a personal and private decision, but unlike other choices you might make, this is a personal choice with communal consequences.

Their vaccinations would likely protect your neighbors from the more severe forms of this illness, but they may have elders or other more vulnerable people in their circles who might not be so lucky.

Whether you wish to attempt to continue on in friendship with these neighbors is up to you. But honesty is a necessary aspect of friendship, and so you should disclose your vaccination status.

DEAR AMY >> Our granddaughter has a 5-year-old daughter whose father, “W,” was convicted of a felony involving a gun. He was a previous felon.

W has been in and out of my great-granddaughter's life for the past five years. He is now facing some serious jail time.

W's mother and his sister have been involved with our great-granddaughter and have been consistently in her life.

What is the best way for our granddaughter to deal with her child's grandmother and aunt when it comes to the child visiting them?

My granddaughter doesn't want her daughter going to jail to visit, nor does she want her to talk to W on the phone.

I asked her to see a counselor, but she says she cannot afford one.

I think it would be good for the child to continue to have contact with her father's family members. Your suggestions?

— Concerned

DEAR CONCERNED >> I agree that this child is too young to visit her father in prison. I disagree, to some extent, regarding phone calls. Depending on the context and on the father's ability to communicate appropriately with his daughter, monitored phone or video calls should be considered.

The child's father should be encouraged to write to his daughter, and once the mother has vetted his communication, the daughter can write back.

I mainly note that this child's mother is the custodial parent, and if she decides that no contact with W is best for her child for the next few months, then W's family members must respect that.