Family secret not yours to tell
DEAR AMY: I grew up in a small town where everyone knows everyone’s business.
My grandmother told me that the father of her son- in- law is not his biological father. She told me her son- in- law’s mother had an affair, resulting in her getting pregnant.
Once I found out about this, it made perfect sense. The son- in- law, who is one of my uncles, looks nothing like his brothers. In addition, the man who raised him treated him differently.
On his deathbed, the man who raised him told my uncle he wasn’t his son. My uncle took it hard.
Should I tell my uncle what I know so that he can confront his mother and maybe get closure?
Conflicted Niece
DEAR NIECE: According to your narrative, your uncle knows that the man who raised him is not his biological father. I’m not sure why your grandmother is choosing to disclose this news to you now, but one response to this oversharing would be, “Wow, Gran — this sounds so private. Why are you telling me this?” While I agree with the idea of reducing a secret’s power by exposing it to light, you are too tangential to this story to get involved.
If you continue to be concerned about your uncle, you should urge the family member who is closest to him to talk to him.
DEAR AMY: My sister has been engaged for the past year and has everything planned for a wedding this summer. However, her fiance is no longer interested in marrying her.
My sister is distraught, but we have a four- month window to cancel the hotel, the band, etc., and still recoup a large portion of the deposit money.
My sister does not want us to cancel anything. She has told us multiple times that if we cancel the wedding, she won’t have the opportunity to fix this broken relationship, and she will wind up never getting married. She is having a hard time coming to terms with her situation. Her fiance has moved out and is living with a friend.
We stand to lose thousands of dollars if we do not cancel the venue, but we still want to support my sister. What is the right
thing to do?
Distraught
DEAR DISTRAUGHT: Your sister has irrationally linked two things that in reality have no connection: something as relatively inconsequential as a wedding venue, and something extremely painful and important — the breakup of her relationship.
Whoever paid the deposits for the venue, band, etc., should cancel immediately. I suggest saying to your sister, “We need to cancel these plans this week, so I’m going to start making calls. If you revive your plans, we’ll do our best to pick up where we left off.”
Retrieving deposits allows the family to save this money, in the fresh hope that your sister eventually will walk down the aisle. While you should all feel very sympathetic toward her, your family should not allow your sister to emotionally blackmail you to the tune of thousands of dollars. Canceling these plans might give her an incentive to start healing from this major disappointment.
Dean Young and John Marshall
Glenn McCoy
Rob Harrell
Tak Bui
Vic Lee
Charles Schulz
Woody Wilson and Terry Beatty
The defenders invariably have fewer entries than declarer. When you need an entry in your partner’s hand, you may have to look hard for it.
In today’s deal, dummy’s ace of diamonds won, and declarer next took the A- K of trumps. He threw a heart from dummy on the king of diamonds and exited with a trump.
West knew he needed two more tricks besides his ace of clubs. He led a heart — not a success. South won with the queen, took the ace, ruffed his last heart in dummy and conceded two clubs. Making four.
West looked for his partner’s entry in the wrong place. West needed East to have one good card, but if East held the ace of hearts, West could lead a heart later. Moreover, West could infer that if South needed heart discards, he would have started the clubs after he took the top trumps. ( If South had A K J 5 2, A J 5, K 8, K 8 7, four spades would be unbeatable.)
At Trick Five, West must lead a low club. When East takes the king, a heart shift beats the contract.
You hold: ♠ Q 9 4 ♥ K 9 6 2 ◆ J 10 9 ♣ A 5 3. The dealer, at your left, opens one club. Your partner doubles, and the next player bids two clubs. What do you say?
You have 10 points with four useful honors; the K- Q of clubs opposite partner’s shortness would be wasted, but the ace is working. Jump to three hearts to invite game. Partner will bid four hearts with K J 3 2, A 8 5 3, A Q 8 2, 2, and on a good day you will make game with an overtrick.