Siblings at odds on splitting cost of trip
DEAR AMY:
My three siblings and I are planning a mountain getaway for our parents’ 50th wedding anniversary celebration. My parents will be in the master suite room. We have all agreed to split their cost and expenses as a gift.
When renting a large cabin with separate bedrooms, do you think singles should pay the same rate as couples? Should all four siblings share the total cost for the entire group?
There is a family of three (includes a baby), there is a family of four (two older teens) and then there are two single adults.
What is the etiquette when splitting costs among family units of varying sizes?
Do you charge per person, per bed or per room?
If singles shared a room, do they pay half of one share? And what about food costs? How should we split food costs?
This is causing a big rift between us. Feelings and emotions have gotten the best of all of us. Your input into this mess would be greatly appreciated.
Distressed
DEAR DISTRESSED:
This isn’t an etiquette question so much as a practical question with many solutions. My suggested solution is that you should charge per bedroom in the cabin. Then people can pay for their own privacy, or share a room to save.
In terms of paying for food, perhaps it would be most practical to set a price-per-individual for the weekend — say $75 per person (or whatever), which would also cover the cost for your folks. You could load this money onto a pre-paid card for food and your group would draw it down as you go. Individuals should pay for their own alcohol separately.
I hope you come to terms about this before the event. It wouldn’t be much of a celebration for your folks if their kids were bickering over money during the weekend.
I’m sure readers will want to weigh in with their own recommendations.
DEAR AMY:
You ran a letter from “Disturbed,” who was worried that her boyfriend was such an introvert. You should have encouraged this couple to join a Toastmasters group. I did this, and it was a great and safe environment to overcome my extreme shyness. More Outgoing
DEAR OUTGOING:
There is nothing “wrong” with being an introvert, and introversion doesn’t necessarily need fixing. But “Disturbed” did say her boyfriend wanted to work on his anti-social shyness. Many readers suggested Toastmasters (toastmasters.com) and I thank you all.