Dad has many opportunities to keep baby engaged
Q I’m a stay-at-home father, and I’m committed to being very involved in my son’s life. He just turned 1, and we usually have a great time together. But I’m starting to worry that he’s going to think I’m boring. What do I do to keep him entertained?
A This is definitely on the list of top-10 questions I get from new dads. I had the same worries my first time around, and we’re far from alone.
Let’s start with “entertained.” As you know from your own life, for most adults there’s a big difference between play and work. But for kids, everything is play.
That’s how they learn about the world. Play teaches them about shapes, textures, colors, sounds and the laws of physics. (If I drop something, it falls. Some objects float in water; others don’t. If I push that green button, a puppet will jump.) Play also teaches them about feelings. (If I make those cute cooing sounds, mommy and daddy will pick me up and kiss me. If I throw my toys, they’ll make that frowny face and do that eyebrow thing that makes me feel bad.)
It even teaches them about empathy. (When daddy and I are rolling around on the floor, it’s OK for me to poke him once or twice. But anything more than that, and he puts me in my crib.)
Just being with you, even when you’re doing things that you think are boring, can be really entertaining for him — and educational, too. Grocery stores are fantastic. Have your son touch a kiwi and a coconut, and talk with him about the differences. Show him the difference between how boxes on the shelves feel and those in the freezer section.
Your son wants to be like you and do the things you do. So, when he gets older, let him help you rinse the dishes after breakfast or vacuum up the Cheerios spilled in the back seat of the car.
Just what you’re doing isn’t important, but talking about it with him is. Showing him that you love him is the most important thing you can possibly do.
Another word you used was “involved.” Rather than come up with a list of activities, try thinking differently. You’re not a walking smartphone app, and you don’t need to keep your son laughing and giggling 24/7.
In fact, little kids need down time. Playing all day is physically exhausting, and processing all the new information is mentally taxing.
When you and your child are together and he wants to spend some time playing quietly by himself, take that as a compliment. If your son weren’t 100 percent convinced that he could count on you when he really needs you, he’d never let you out of his sight.
At least once a day, set your son up with a puzzle or favorite toy and back away. Don’t go too far; you always want to keep an eye on him. But there’s no need to stand over him constantly or keep trying to play with him.