Drunken one-night stand result

I have been with my boyfriend for three years.

We were perfectly happy until recently when I received a message from a “friend of a friend,” telling me that he cheated on me six months ago with a friend of mine.

I confronted him and he admitted to it and said it happened one time and that it was a mistake on a drunken night.

I also reached out to my friend, and she said the same thing. Neither told me because they were too scared to (obviously), but my whole group of friends knew about this and said nothing.

He would like to work on our relationship, but it bothers me that he could lie to me for six months and act like everything was fine.

I want to give him another chance, but I feel stupid if I do because what’s to say this won’t happen again in the future? This would be a deal-breaker for some people, but only you can decide if you want to leave the relationship over this. Your relationship can recover from infidelity, but only if you two use it as a way to deepen your intimacy and make a commitment to rebuilding trust.

Drunkenness is often used as an excuse for a regretful sexual encounter, but one encounter can have extreme consequences for everyone, including pregnancy, STDs, and damaged relationships.

Your boyfriend and your friend need to own up to their behavior, apologize to you, and ask for forgiveness.

Your boyfriend also needs to answer the question, “What’s to say this won’t happen again?” If he blames his drinking for this betrayal, then he should definitely examine his drinking, as well as his character flaws.

Trust is a choice. Although you won’t likely forget what happened, once you deal with it, you should work hard not to punish — and re-litigate — this episode every time you have a problem.

Normally I respect your reasonable opinions, but I have a problem with your answer to “Expecting and Uneasy,” whose motherin-law announced that she would be baby-sitting for their baby. The couple wanted to place their baby into day care instead of having the child’s grandmother take care of it during the workday.

You are sorely mistaken if you think that day care is better than a grandparent’s care.

Actually, in my answer, I didn’t express any opinion — positive or negative — about day care (I happen to believe that quality day care is good for children and their working parents).

In this case, yes, day care is definitely preferable to placing a baby with a grandmother who has a track record of infuriating family members by not respecting commonsense parenting practices, as well as the parents’ stated wishes.