Jimmy G’s name hard to spell, but 49ers hope it contains W’s
Darting here and there …
Garapolo. Garrapolo. Gorapollo. Gorappollo. Garlopolo. Galapago. Grrrapallo. Gorappaollo. We’ll get it. Bear with us, we’ll get it. For now, at least we can say it three times really fast.
Actually, we’ve got it, and if you’re having trouble, try this trick to get it right: Garo P. Polo. Garoppolo. Bingo. That’s your public-service announcement for this week.
A person who has spent his life being misspelled as Stewart or Stuart can definitely empathize with new 49ers QB Jimmy Garoppolo, and strive to get all the lettering correct.
Taking a cue from Apocalypse Now, the 49ers and their fans only hope Jimmy G spells like victory.
Man, and we thought spelling “Kaepernick” brought us to our knees.
One of these eras, the 49ers are just going to have a quarterback named Smith. Oh, yeah, right. How quickly we forget. Actually had a couple: Alex and, well, let’s test your memory.
Now watch Tom Brady get hurt and Brian Hoyer win the Super Bowl.
Hoyer’s good fortune winding up in New England is like getting the best “Chance” card in some futuristic version of Monopoly: Get Out Of Jail Free, Advance To Go, Collect 4 Million Dollars.
Garoppolo might not want to get under center until the Niners beef up with some guards and tackles. You know it’s grim when they ask Eric Reid if he’s ever played offensive line.
And with Pierre Garcon now out, there’s only one thing we can say about that receiving corps: sacré bleu!
Marshawn Lynch is back with the Raiders this weekend, and the best news about that is he stayed away from Cal and didn’t land the Bears on probation.
Speaking of suspended running backs, can we just leave the Ezekiel Elliott Injunction Junction, go directly to the Supreme Court and be done with this nonsense?
Can’t you just picture a couple of thousand fantasy football owners, all badly in need of a shower, camping out on the steps of the highest court in the land?
If Jack Del Rio was looking for mojo on this extended road trip, he should have had the Raiders holing up in West Palm Beach, where the Astros train, instead of Sarasota, where the Cincinnati Reds train.
Oh, by the way, those Astros? After denying the Dodgers, their parade in San Francisco is tentatively set for Monday.
Proposed new promo spot: “Giants and Astros: Together We’re Orange.” And did you see on Twitter how quickly Trump tried to jump on the bandwagon, too?
Sports Illustrated’s three-yearold cover predicting the Astros as 2017 World Series champs is an alltime prognostication, particularly with Series MVP George Springer on the cover. Then again, roughly three months ago, didn’t S.I. have that Dodgers “Greatest Team Ever?” cover? As we say around here, throw enough darts, you’re bound to hit the bull’s-eye.
Final former A’s World Series tally: Josh Reddick, A.J. Hinch, Brad Peacock, Max Stassi will be getting rings. Rich Hill, Brandon McCarthy, Scott Kazmir, Andre Ethier, Bob Geren and Farhan Zaidi denied! No doubt we’re missing somebody, but it’s so hard to keep track of them all.
You know who really saw these Astros coming? Doug Greenwald (son of former Giants broadcaster Hank Greenwald), who saw many of these Houston players as broadcaster for the Fresno Grizzlies the past three years. Doug even called their 2015 Triple-A title, so maybe Doug should get a ring, too.
Think maybe new Giants hitting coach Alonzo Powell could slip out of Houston with Jose Altuve in his back pocket?
So this is all we want to know: Will we be getting taxed at the Stephen Curry rate or the Steve’s Bike Shop rate? And is that Steve Kerr’s bike shop?
For Curry to get mention in the new tax plan, the president must really be fearing that Popovich/Kerr 2020 ticket. But look, we can’t be having the next commander-in-chief getting ejected from games like he did Thursday night. C’mon, President Pop!
Former Warrior David Lee is engaged to tennis star Caroline Wozniacki? Nice. Wonder if he proposed with his 2015 championship ring. “Yeah, it’s a little big, honey, but look at all of those diamonds!”
Georgia No. 1 in the first College Football Playoff poll over Alabama? Seriously? Sez who, Putin?
Pretty cool than Stanford is 21st in the poll and only three spots behind the University of Central Florida, coached by former Stanford quarterback Scott Frost. Fake knowledge!
Finally, welcome back, Patrick Marleau! Wait, you say he came and left already? Ah, Patty always did skate fast.